


Mentor 2

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Other: See Story Notes, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:43:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 15-year-old Blair meets Dr. Eli Stoddard and gets more than a mentor.  Part of the Mentor series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mentor 2

## Mentor 2

by Grey

This story can be read to supplement the MENTOR series or by itself. 

This story contains underaged sex and nonconsensual sex with a minor. Jim doesn't appear in this part of the series.

This story is a sequel to: Mentor 

* * *

Title: Mentor, Book 2  
Author: Grey  
Fandom: TS  
Pairing: B/O  
Rating: NC-17, See Warnings  
Status: New, complete  
Date: December 1999  
Archive: SXF, no. Others yes.  
Email: Grey853@aol.com  
Series/Sequel: The second book in the MENTOR series. 

Disclaimer: Not mine, but might as well be. 

Summary: A fifteen-year-old Blair meets Eli Stoddard and gets more than just a mentor. 

WARNING: Contains explicit UNDERAGE and NONCONSENSUAL sex. This carries the harshest of warnings. This is not a love story in the strictest sense, but a story of abuse in its many twisty forms. 

Notes: 

1.--Thanks to Jenn aka XFreak for her proofing and all around support. 2.--This is a very bleak story that gives the background of abuse that Blair deals with in Mentor One and Three. It's a bleak and ugly story, but one I felt compelled to write to show that abuse is a web, tangled and complicated, a sticky trap that can catch a person so easily. 3--There's no Jim and very little comfort. 4--You don't have to read this to understand Book Three, but it helps to understand the depth of the problem. 5--Do not read this and then flame me. You've been warned of its nature. 

Mentor, Book Two  
by Grey 

"But, I'm telling you, I'm supposed to be here." Blair Sandburg ran a hand through his short dark curls and held out the official letter again as he pointed to the instructions listed at the bottom. "See. It says right here to report today at nine o'clock." 

"I'm sorry. There's no Blair Sandburg on our lists." The middle-aged woman scanned down her papers again. "All the rooms have been assigned already." 

Taking a deep breath, Blair refolded his letter, working hard to control the thundering panic. "So, like, what am I supposed to do now? I spent all my money on the ticket to get here. I don't have any way to call my mom until next Saturday." 

"Isn't there any way to get in touch with her in case of emergencies?" 

"No, m'am. She's on a retreat and there aren't any phones. Man, this sucks." 

"Excuse me, young man. There's no need to be vulgar." 

"I'm sorry." Blair looked at the crowd of college students waiting in line behind him and then turned back to take one more shot. "Look, could you at least tell me where I could find a place to stay until this gets straightened out. I really do have a scholarship for the summer enrichment class in Anthropology that starts Monday." 

"You're a little young for college." 

"I'm fifteen. I'm in the Federal Accelerated Out Reach Program." 

For the first time in the exchange the woman's face softened. "Look, why don't you wait over there while I call someone else who might be able to help?" 

"Thanks." 

He picked up his one bag and backpack before finding an empty seat. Putting his things down in the chair, he wandered to the window, stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and scanned the campus. Students milled along walk ways, some single, some holding hands and taking advantage of the warm weather. He wanted so much to be a part of that, to find someone to be with as he entered this new world. After several minutes, he paced the room, his body wired with energy. Over an hour passed before he finally gave up and walked back to the registration line and got the woman's attention. "Any word yet?" 

"I'm sorry. Maybe you should just tour the campus and come back in a few hours. The head of the department isn't due until two." 

"Two? Man, that's another four hours." 

"I know, but there's nothing I can do. Don't you have any relatives in town you could stay with?" 

Ignoring the question, he kept his voice civil, but just barely. "I'll be back at two." Ignoring the curious glances of the people in line, he took his things and headed outside. Standing at the top of the stairs, he set his mind to imagine a great adventure, an exploration of new territory. Smiling again, he shouldered his pack and headed off to the jungle, the place he always pretended to go whenever he hated where he really was. 

In his mind a thick canopy of green rain forest crowded out the light and buzzing insects and afternoon drizzle replaced the street sounds. He probably would've swung a make believe machete, too, but found himself stalled in front of a fountain. Suddenly, he couldn't move, a cold chill skimming his veins as he watched the spray, a brief choking sensation stealing his breath. A few seconds later, he fell back and sagged down on the stone bench, his body still shaking. 

"You okay, kid?" 

Startled, he jerked away when a hand touched his shoulder. "I'm fine." 

"You sure?" 

He glanced up into deep set blue eyes studying him carefully. An older man stood there, his broad shoulders stretching the black T-shirt, his firm body blocking the light. Blair prayed his voice didn't break like it usually did when he got nervous. "I'm sure." 

"Good, because I wouldn't want to have to rely on the shitty EMS in this town." The man sat down beside him and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he spoke casually. "So, what's the problem?" 

"What makes you think there's a problem?" 

"I'm an observer by nature and profession." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." He held out a hand and smiled, his teeth white and even. "The name's Stoddard." 

"I know. I've seen your picture in all the journals." 

"Not the one with the fucking bow tie, I hope." 

"No, the one with the jungle fatigues. It's a really cool photo." Blair didn't add how many times he'd jerked off to that picture, the image like fire to his groin. 

"Yeah, I like that one, too. So, what's your name, then? 

"Blair Sandburg." He shook the hand, the grip firm, the heat up his arm and into his gut immediate. 

"Sandburg? Hell, you're the one who won the Excel scholarship, right?" 

"And you're the man who wrote the book on how indigenous people are affected by modern influences." 

Stoddard laughed out loud. "Fuck, kid. Sounds like we should be giving out little trophies or some such shit." 

"I'm honored to meet you." 

"You should be. I'm hot shit around here." He laughed again and patted him on the back. "Just kidding. I'm not really an arrogant ass, but I couldn't resist. I don't often get hero worship this early in the day." 

Flushed and uneasy, Blair turned away. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. It's nice to think someone outside these walls actually reads what I write. And, speaking of writing, I read that piece you submitted to the committee. Excellent. I couldn't believe you were only fifteen." 

He avoided piercing blue eyes and held his backpack in his lap, praying his traitorous cock settled down quickly. Sitting next to Stoddard made his whole body ache. "I get that a lot until people see me." 

"But it works for you. Listen, you still didn't tell me the problem. Why are you sitting out here looking like you just lost your best friend?" 

"I was supposed to have a room at the dorm, but I'm not on the list." 

"Fucking red tape deal, huh? Don't you just hate that?" 

"It sucks." 

"Yeah, big time. Tell you what, kid. Why don't you get your bags and come along to the office. I'll make a few calls. We'll see how much juice the old man still has." 

"Old man?" 

"Yeah, me." 

"You're not old." 

Stoddard grinned as he shook his head, his humor infectious. "Man, you're younger than I thought, Sandburg. Now, come on. I've got some artifacts to go through before lunch. Maybe you could help out while I see about the fuck up with the room." 

"Sure. That'd be great." 

"Then move it, kid. This place always gives me the creeps for some reason." 

Blair didn't answer, but followed along, his mind avoiding the original dread at seeing the fountain. Turning his attention back to Stoddard, he asked, "So, what kind of artifacts are you working with?" 

"Mayan." 

"Cool. Those are my favorite." 

"Mine, too." 

"Not that I've actually seen a real artifact outside a museum or anything. But, man, they did some incredible work." 

"I know. I'm not supposed to be culturally biased, but I think the Mayans had it going on a lot longer than some people think." 

"Me, too." 

"Damn shame the Europeans showed up and fucked the whole place over. Bastards." Stoddard stopped for a second and cleared his throat. "So, are you hungry?" 

"I could eat." 

"Good. After we clear up this mess, I know this great Chinese restaurant we could check out." 

Blair frowned and looked away. "I'd like to, but I can't." 

"Don't worry about the money. It's my treat." 

"That wouldn't be fair." 

"Sure it would." Stoddard stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Learn as you go, kid. You're the student. I'm the professor. Take whatever you can get whenever it's offered. It's part of the culture." 

"Really?" 

"Would Eli Stoddard lie?" 

"Shit. I didn't mean..." 

"It's okay. Now, come on. I'll show you around. You're going to love it here." 

Blair followed along and believed him. 

* * *

"Eli, hon, please tell me this is our new assistant. He's fucking gorgeous." 

"Calm down, Sidney. He's only fifteen and I don't have enough cash to bail your ass out of jail if you try to nail him." 

The slender man sat down on the edge of the desk, his legs crossed as he pouted. Dyed blond hair, cut short, topped a rounded head, his face delicate, but with high cheek bones and full lips. "Fifteen? My god. This is so not fair." 

Blair blushed and looked back at Eli, unsure and unsettled. The hungry and amused stare from the older man didn't calm his heart, either. 

"Don't worry, kid. Sidney's a harmless flirt." 

"Don't tell the boy that." 

"It's the truth. Now, promise not to scare him." 

"You're no fun. You bring me a pretty present and then say I can't play with it. You're such a bitch sometimes." 

"Bitch? Sidney, please. You of all people know better." 

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Butch. I forgot." Waving both hands up in surrender with a low giggle, Sidney stood up and went back behind the desk. "Now, who is our new pet?" 

"Sidney Gold, this is Blair Sandburg." 

"Nice to meet you, Sidney." 

"I'm sure. Now, let me guess, you're a stray, a straggler, a lost soul just wandering around campus, right?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Well, that's what Eli usually does. Finds someone who needs help and then takes him in. Doesn't always choose one nearly as pretty as you, though. Way to go, Eli." 

Smile gone, Stoddard snapped, "Lay off, Sidney. The kid's had a rough time already. Dean Margaret's fucked up his room assignment for the summer course." 

"The bitch." 

"So, see what you can do about it." 

"Of course, dear. You want me to slap her around a little, too?" 

"Settle down, Gold. Save the show for later." 

The command worked magic as Sidney transformed, his actions more restrained and simple. "I'll take care of it." 

"Good." He turned his attention back to Blair. "Put your stuff over there. Sidney will watch over it. I want to show you the work room." 

Blair followed him along the corridor, down the stairs to the basement, and stopped at a door on the right. Once inside he saw several long tables and shelves filled with either crates or labeled boxes. In the corner were two desks, one holding a computer, the other stacked with books and folders. Under the long window a sofa filled with bound volumes of anthropological journals finished off the room. "You work here?" 

"Yeah, sort of my home away, you know. I know it doesn't look like much, but we've got some real beauties on loan from South America stored away down here." He motioned to one of the stools. "Have a seat." Eli picked up one of the clip boards and studied it while he talked. "Don't let Sidney bother you, okay? He's just a little flamboyant sometimes. He's harmless." 

"He seems fine." 

"Yeah?" 

"I mean, if you're asking me if I mind if he's gay, I don't." 

Eli put down the clip board and studied him, his face more serious. "You're not like most kids your age, are you?" 

"I'm a science nerd, so no, I guess not. Besides, my mom's into diversity and has a lot of friends from all over the world. I guess that's sort of why I'm so into studying different cultures, about how they all work. It's all about rituals and rules and shit, and yet, inside all those societies are subcultures and groups that challenge all that." Blair avoided his gaze, preferring to study the color plates of Mayan pots on the work table. He hated being watched, examined so closely. His gut clenched as he worried, feared being branded one more time as too different. 

"So, is that how you see yourself, as a science nerd?" 

"Yeah, I guess." 

"Well, you've come home, then, kid. We're all science nerds here." 

Looking up into bright eyes, he caught the playful grin. "You don't look like a science nerd." 

"What do I look like?" 

Blair bit his lip and shrugged, unable to say the words savior or dream. "You're a famous scientist. Everyone in the world reads your stuff." 

"You think?" 

"Sure." 

"You're wrong. Outside my field, nobody gives a fuck about what I think, and that's cool. It's a matter of perspective and knowing your place in the world you inhabit. I know where I fit. Lord knows, it took me long enough to figure it out. You just haven't found that place yet." 

"Yeah, well, I'm hoping to find it here." 

"And, you could, but don't get crushed if this is only a stepping stone to finding a different spot." 

"Sort of like just using it as part of the journey, right?" 

"Right." Eli snorted to himself and leaned back against one of the work tables, his arms crossed. "You're quite the philosopher, too, huh?" 

"I read a lot." 

"I'll bet. What about friends?" 

"What about them?" 

"Do you know anybody on campus yet?" 

Nervously pushing back an unruly curl, Blair shrugged. "I just got here." 

"What about high school?" 

"What about it?" 

"You don't like talking about yourself, do you?" 

"It's boring. I'd rather hear about you. What made you decide to go into anthropology?" 

Stoddard took a deep breath, his eyes focused at some distant point before he spoke. "Probably the same reason you did. People and their notions of how to act, how to behave, all that energy into socialization, it's pretty kickass when you think about it. I really like seeing the contrast of so-called primitive to modern, to analyze the contamination, to see what can happen in the first contacts when I can." 

"You know what I like best about your books?" 

Turning his attention back to Blair, he leaned forward and braced his arms on the table. "What?" 

"It's how you write. It's so personal, and it's like when I read it, I'm right there living it." 

"Like when?" 

"Like when you were in the village in Bolivia when the little girl Iya got sick, and there were no hospitals, but you stayed right there and I could see the shaman working as you described him, how he saved her life, brought her spirit back." 

"I remember that." 

"It was beautiful, man. I want to write like that someday." 

"You have to live first." 

"That's why I'm here." 

For the briefest of moments, Blair noted the too bright eyes, the extra blinking as Eli stood up and turned away. "I think I should go check on Sidney." 

"Thanks." 

"For what?" 

"For just trying to help." 

"It's no big deal." 

"Yeah, it is. I appreciate it." 

Standing still, hand on the door, Eli spoke quietly. "Don't thank me too much, kid. I'm not the unselfish saint you think I am." 

Before he could say anything, Stoddard left him sitting alone. Blair got up and went to the sofa, picked up one of the journals. Flipping through the pages, he didn't see the words. Instead he dreamed of how much he wanted the man he admired, the man who touched his heart with his stories and teased his starving young cock with desire. 

* * *

"Well, I've got good news and bad news." Eli leaned in the doorway, his face more serious than before. 

"What?" 

"Well, the bad news is that Dean Margaret's a pissy bitch who refuses to admit that she's wrong." 

"Oh." Blair stood up and sighed, not having a clue what to do next, his mind running forward to the hitch hiking routine back home. Then, he remembered his mother's wrath the last time he did that, and he erased it immediately. "So, what's the good news?" 

"Well, I happen to have a spare bedroom at my place. You can stay there until we get this straightened out." 

His heart did a stutter before he found his voice. "Are you sure?" 

"Wouldn't offer if I weren't. Besides, you're not going to have a lot of time to get under foot. This program includes a work/study deal. Guess who's snatched you up as his assistant already?" 

"Who?" 

"Me. Figured it was the least the dean could do for screwing up and booking your room." He stepped closer and dug a card out of his pocket. "Here's a campus meal ticket, too. It's good the whole semester at the cafeteria. This way, at least you won't starve while you're here." 

"Thanks, man." He took the card, his hand briefly touching Eli's, the heat of contact forcing his eyes away. 

"It's not the best food in the world, but it's open 24 hours, so it comes in handy." 

"Cool." 

"Speaking of food, I'm hungry. Why don't we check out some Chinese?" 

"But, we still haven't finished with the artifacts." 

"It's okay. We're not on any deadline and I'm the boss. Let's go." 

"Sure." He pulled out his wallet and put the meal ticket away as they walked. 

"Have you bought the books for the course yet?" 

"No, I was kind of hoping to find some used ones." 

"That's going to be hard to do. Most of the reading list is new." 

"I know, but the scholarship didn't include books. I thought I might be able to share with someone." 

"Share?" 

"Yeah, I'm a fast reader, so I could maybe read them while the other person's not using them." 

Eli shook his head, and put his hand on Blair's shoulder as he talked. "Don't worry about it, kid. I've got some extra copies you can have." 

"I don't want to put you out." 

"You won't. Besides, the scholarship should've had a book grant attached. You're not the first kid to show up and get thrown by the hidden costs." 

Removing his hand, Eli retrieved his car keys as they exited the building. 

"It's just that money's a little tight right now. My mom's supposed to send me some later." 

"It's okay, Blair. Really." He guided him to a grey Volvo and they both got in. Starting up the car, he asked, "So, you've mentioned your mom. What about your dad?" 

Blair stiffened, his body tight with the conditioned response. "I don't know my dad. He split before I was born." 

"Ah." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" For the first time he bristled, the ready defense for his mom's virtue ready. 

"Nothing. It's just something to say when a guy doesn't know what else to say." 

"Oh." 

"Tell me about your mom then." 

"Why?" 

"Why what?" 

"Why do you want to know about my mom?" 

Eli glanced over, his face serious. "I think you're an interesting kid, Blair. I just wondered about the woman who raised you. It must have been tough, a single woman raising a boy alone in this society." 

Blair clenched his jaw a few times before he answered, his words more biting than he intended. "First of all, I'm not a kid. And, second, I love my mom. She's the greatest person in the world. She's a hell of a strong and decent woman no matter what people think." 

"And what do they think?" 

"I don't want to talk about this." 

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." 

After a few calming breaths, Blair glanced over shyly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off." 

"You call that going off?" 

"Yeah." 

"In some places, that's just a courtship ritual warm up. Here, we'll just let it slide." 

"Thanks." 

"So, what's your favorite sport?" 

"Basketball." He took in the amused expression and shrugged. "Yeah, I know, I'm short. But, I'm fast. Watching or playing, I love it. Orvelle Wallace is my hero, man. Baseball's cool, too. I used to collect cards, but they got too expensive. Plus, I got really busy with school and didn't have much time." 

"I read on your submission form, they've promoted you to a senior this year. At fifteen that's pretty impressive." 

"Not really. Lots of people have graduated and gone to college earlier. My mom and I, we move around so much, though, it was kind of hard to put me in the right placement sometimes because I'd miss so much." 

"That must have been frustrating." 

"Yeah, sometimes." He looked out at the buildings flying by, but his mind saw the past, the number of times he'd fought to get the right classes, to make sure he wasn't bored to tears and just passed over. The face of Mr. Barton, his seventh grade science teacher as he smiled and taught him how to use a microscope, to see a magical world beyond his vision. He sighed as he thought of getting caught stealing a microscope just last year. Thank god, that wasn't on his record. 

After a few more blocks, Stoddard parked the car. "Come on. Meyly makes some of the best dim sum on the planet." 

"Dim sum?" 

"Yeah, Chinese dumplings. They're fucking fantastic. Just wait until you taste the shrimp ones." 

Warmed by his enthusiasm, Blair followed him in, his mind near dizzy from the flurry of conversation as Stoddard spoke in Chinese to an elderly lady. "We're in the back, kid." He stopped for a heart beat and corrected himself. "Sorry. We're in the back. Blair." 

Before he could stop himself, he smiled. "You can call me kid if you want." 

"As long as I don't see you as one, right?" 

"Right." 

"That's going to be tough." 

"Why's that?" 

"Because, it might be the only way to keep you safe." 

Blair didn't ask him what he meant as he turned and headed off to the room to the left behind the partition, because he already knew. Need played out in those blue eyes, those eyes that showed the same hunger that gnawed at his own gut, the craving to be held and loved by someone who wanted the same thing. 

* * *

"What do you think?" 

"You live here?" Blair tried not to look so impressed, but failed. The wide oak beams opened up one huge room with skylights. A stone fireplace took up one wall, book cases another, and a row of windows revealed a forest landscape to the back of the house. "Writing books must pay more than I thought." 

Eli laughed and reached into the refrigerator in the bar for a beer. "You want a soda?" 

"Water's fine." 

"Sure. The glasses are over the sink. Help yourself. Might as well get oriented. Knowing the University, you might be here awhile." 

"Well, that could be a problem." 

"Why's that?" 

"I mean, don't get me wrong. It's a great offer, but I don't drive. How am I supposed to get out here on my own? The buses sure don't come out this far." 

"I'll match your schedule to mine, or Sidney or one of the other TA's can drive you. If all else fails, you can take a taxi." 

"You're kidding. No way can I afford a taxi out here." 

"Sure you can. I'll call the company and put your name on my service number. All you have to do is use it." 

"That could get expensive." 

Stoddard drank a long swallow before he answered. "What's money if it doesn't buy you what you want or need? Money's not an issue for me right now. Is there another reason you might not want to stay here?" 

"No. It's beautiful." He stepped to the window and stared out at the woods, the dusk dimming the colors with foggy light and crickets beginning the nightly chorus. "It's so isolated. You could imagine yourself anywhere in the world, just pretend like everything's fine. One of the men my mom dated lived like this. We didn't get to stay long, though." He rested his forehead on the cool glass, the quick rush of the argument, the angry words between Naomi and Harold rearing up in his mind. Shutting it down quickly, he avoided reliving it, ignored the grip it had on his stomach. "He was a real bastard." 

"Some men are." 

"Yeah, so I've discovered." 

"What have you discovered, Blair?" Stoddard's voice so close to his ear startled him. He jerked his head up to find him standing at his right just watching. 

"That some men can't be trusted." He kept his eyes focused on the back of the house as he spoke. "My mom has a lot of boyfriends. Some are pretty cool, but some aren't. Just like anything else, I guess." 

"When you say they're not cool, what do you mean exactly?" 

Turning away, Blair walked to the bar and got some water, measuring out in his thoughts how much he should say and how he should say it, wondering how much he should trust this man he just met, but seemed to already know. "You have to understand something about my mom first." 

"What's that?" 

"She's beautiful. I mean, really beautiful. I'm not just saying that because she's my mom, either." 

"Of course not." 

Blair pulled out a picture from his wallet and put it on the counter and watched as Eli picked it up. "You're right. She's lovely." 

"Yeah, but she's too trusting. Men tell her anything and she believes them. No matter how many times they've lied to her, the next one comes along and she still believes him." 

Stoddard's solemn face remained impassive. "And what lies do these men tell your mother?" 

"I'm not saying they all do, but some get her involved in all kinds of wild schemes, all kinds of crazyass treks across the world." He paused before he added, "And, then some try to turn her against me. Of course, with my mom, that's their mistake. She always kicks their asses out when they start that shit." 

"But, then along comes another one, right?" 

"Something like that. Mom doesn't like being alone." 

"She's got you for company." 

"You know what I mean. She likes having someone to be with. A new man or woman, it doesn't matter. She never stays very long with anybody." 

"And, how does that make you feel?" 

"Lonely." He blinked several times to fight the sting, the unexpected blur as he fought to keep his mixed emotions in check. 

Eli nodded and stayed quiet until he finished the beer. "You know, being lonely isn't that unusual. Even adults feel that way sometimes." 

Leaning forward on the counter, Blair spoke softly. "Is that sort of why you've adopted me?" The sudden laugh surprised him. "What?" 

"Adoption isn't close to what I'm thinking." 

"I don't get it." 

"You're not supposed to." Stoddard picked up his bags and motioned with his head to the stairs. "Let's get your stuff in your room and I'll show you the rest of the place." 

Blair didn't push, but kept his curiosity in check. He had the whole summer to figure out the mystery of what made his mentor tick, what made Eli Stoddard see promise in his future. 

* * *

Morning sneaked in and whopped him on the head with a hard smack, the glare of light through the window like spikes in his skull. The knock on the door brought his head from under the patchwork blue silk quilt. "Yeah?" 

"You sleep okay?" 

"Yeah, fine, thanks." 

"Good. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Take a shower and get dressed. We need to leave in less than an hour." 

Blair glanced at the clock and squinted, the numbers blurry. He rubbed his eyes and finally made out the time. "It's only seven o'clock." 

"I've got a shipment coming in from Mexico City. I need to be there to sign for it." 

"Sure, okay." As he swung his legs off the bed, he steadied himself, the sudden wave of dizziness catching him off guard. 

"You all right? You look a little green." 

"No, I'm fine. I guess it's all the excitement." 

"Right. See you down stairs, then." 

When the door shut, Blair lowered his face to his hands, nausea rolling his stomach. "Shit." He ignored the tilt and pretended it didn't mean anything. Mornings in strange places made everybody queasy. 

Standing up carefully, he grabbed his bag and threw it on the bed. He pulled out a rolled up T-shirt and fresh boxers and zipped. Picking up his jeans from the day before, he did a quick sniff test and decided they could last another day. 

He quickly made the bed and then headed for the bathroom. Larger than his bedroom back home, he locked the door behind him and started the shower. He opened the medicine cabinet hoping to find some aspirin, but only found basic shaving and dental supplies along with some vitamins. 

Climbing in the tub, he pulled the curtain and enjoyed the water steaming his skin. Leaning his head back, he washed first his face and hair, and then worked downward, taking time to lather up, the slick soap warming as he stroked his erection. Thighs grew heavy as he rolled his balls, the tug and touch pure heat, tiny sizzles along his spine. Wrapping his cock, he slowly thrust into a slippery hand as he imagined himself pumping into Eli, seeing the round pucker open and take him in. Ripples flowed through his belly with each pump, the pressure building in his chest, his lungs aching with labored breaths. 

Winding tighter, the thin line from his groin to his brain snapped, jerking him forward, the flashes sparking behind his closed lids. Rapid spasms took him down to his knees as he came, the quick release exploding pleasure and clenching his ass up through his backbone. Gasping, he nearly choked on the spray and lowered his head. 

After a few moments, he stood back up, his balance still light and dreamy as he turned off the water. Grabbing a towel, he dried off, avoiding the mirror as he rubbed his hair, the tight curls stubborn and springing out everywhere. He hated his hair, always taking care to try to make it stay down, to make it behave just for a little while. Combing it only made it worse. Frustrated he gave up and just got dressed and headed down to see Eli. 

Out on the deck Stoddard leaned back in a chair, his feet up on the rail as he ate strawberries and cantaloupe. "Morning, kid." 

"Morning." Blair sat down at the table, his head still pounding. He eyed the fruit bowl and then pushed it away. "Sorry, man. I'm not much on breakfast." 

"Most important meal..." 

"...of the day. Yeah, I know. My mom tells me that all the time. It's just I'm not much of a morning person. Takes me awhile to wake up. Got any coffee?" 

"Sure. In the carafe. I'll get you a mug." 

"I can get it." 

"I don't mind. Sit still." 

While Stoddard went inside, Blair rested his face in his hands, just letting the world spin for awhile and hoping he didn't start retching over the rail. 

"Here." Sitting the cup down, Eli sat and poured them both a serving. "It's pretty strong, so you may want to doctor it up a little." 

"No. I like it strong. Caffeine's one of my vices." 

"One?" 

"Yeah, the others are secret." 

"You're a little young for vices, kid." 

"I'm a precocious youth, so sue me." He grumbled the words as he drank in the dark bitter liquid, the heat testing his tongue. 

"You really are a morning grouch." 

"Sorry." 

"No need. I've seen you later in the day. Once you wake up, you make up for it. I really enjoyed yesterday." 

Blair blushed at the subtle softness of the words, the compliment so easily given. Suddenly uncomfortable, he finished off the coffee and reached for more. 

"That might not be such a good idea. Why don't you start with just one cup before you brave anymore." 

"Like build up a tolerance?" 

"Yeah, something like that." 

Sitting back, he shrugged and rubbed his temples. "Okay." 

Stoddard frowned. "Are you sure you're all right? You look flushed." 

"First I was green, now I'm flushed." 

As Eli stretched out his hand to touch his forehead, Blair froze, his body stiffening at the approach. The older man immediately stopped. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." 

"I was just going to see if you had a fever." 

"I said I was okay, man." 

Standing up, Blair picked up his dishes and walked inside to the kitchen area. As he cleaned up, Stoddard leaned against the counter. "I didn't mean to scare you." 

"You didn't. I just wasn't expecting it." 

"Look, I don't know you very well yet, but I want us to be friends. Friends trust each other." 

"I know." 

"Good. So, let's clean up and head out. I've got a ton of meetings today and I figure that will give Sidney a chance to show you the ropes." 

"Sounds good." 

"And, later tonight, I'd like to take you out to dinner. There's an Italian place that has the best clam sauce." 

Blair relaxed and smiled. "For someone in such good shape, you sure do like to eat a lot." 

Laughing out loud, Stoddard used both his hands to pat his flat stomach through the white T-shirt. "I work at it." Then he turned and walked away, calling back over his shoulder, his voice husky. "And, I consider eating an art, kid, and I'm told I'm really good at it." 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Blair pressed against the counter, hoping his begging cock settled down before he went anywhere near Eli Stoddard and his luscious mouth again. 

* * *

"Oh, hon, sit down before you fall down." Sidney fussed at his arm and guided him to the sofa in the work room. "What's wrong, baby?" 

"I've got a headache, that's all." 

Cool fingers touched his forehead before he could stop them and he actually heard tutting. "You've got a bit of fever. Let me get you some aspirin." 

"Thanks. Eli didn't have any." 

"I find that hard to believe. Of course, he could've used it all after that last little party he gave. Massive blow out affair that was. The cleaning bill alone about broke the budget." Sidney returned with a glass of water and pills. "Here, dear. Drink up." 

"Thanks." He took the medicine and then looked around. "Where's Eli? He was right behind me." 

"Oh, don't mind him. He's always dropping people off and running away like that." The older man patted him on the head and then retrieved the glass. "That should make it better in a bit. Want to lie down or do you feel up to checking out the book list Eli gave me?" 

"Book list?" 

"Yes." He motioned to a stack of volumes on the table. "He called and told me you needed them for your classes by Monday." 

"You mean they're not just extra copies he had?" 

Sidney sat on the stool and crossed his arms, his amused expression curling his lips. "Is that what he told you? Silly boy. Be careful. It's not every day a young man gets courted with a bouquet of big fat textbooks." 

"Courted?" 

More serious, Sidney relaxed and moved to sit beside Blair on the sofa. "I was kidding yesterday about Eli picking up strays. He hasn't brought anybody home for awhile. But, he likes you. I can tell." 

"I like him, too." 

"I know. First time I saw you, I said to myself, Sidney, that boy's got it bad for the man." 

"Does it show that much?" Embarrassment made his tongue hurt. 

Sidney patted his thigh and lowered his voice like he shared a secret. "Don't worry. Even if he noticed, he won't say anything. To be honest, I'm surprised as hell he's even let you get this close. I mean, he took you home for godsakes." 

"Nothing happened." 

"But, it's not because he doesn't like what he sees." 

"Do you think I have a chance?" 

Turning, Sidney met his eyes, his face very serious. "Better be careful what you want, Blair, hon. Listen to me. For you, it could be just a fling with an older man. You're only fifteen. The world would forgive you, no problem. But, for Eli, this could be deep shit and a prison sentence. If you really want to have a relationship, you're going to have to be a lot better at covering than what you've done so far." 

"I'm not sure what I want." 

"But, you do like him, right?" 

"He's the reason I applied for the program. I've read everything he's ever written, every book, every journal." 

"Damn, that's a lot. Did you understand all that mess?" 

Smiling at the teasing tone, Blair nodded. "Yeah, I understood it. Made me feel like I know him, wanted to be with him." 

"Oh, honey." 

"What?" 

"I love Eli. He's a great guy, but he's not what you think." 

"You don't know what I think." 

"Sure I do. You read his stuff and see a hero, an explorer, a man who saves small village against nasty invaders, not to mention, the man's dreamy to look at." 

"So?" 

"So, he's all that, but he's not just that. He's got a dark side, too. I'm just saying that you need to be careful. I don't want either of you to get hurt." 

"I don't understand." 

Sidney stood up, walking back and forth several times with his hand on his hip and the other at his mouth. "I probably shouldn't say this, but you need to know. He's a bit controlling." 

"So? He doesn't seem that bad." 

"It's early yet, love. Let's just say once he decides what to do with you, you might not have much say in our life until he's finished. Flexibility is not one of his strong points." 

"I haven't seen that. Besides, I think I can handle it." 

"I hope so, hon. I'm just worried. I haven't seen him get this worked up over anybody in a long time." 

Blair smiled and leaned back, his anxiety and his headache easing. "So, you think he likes me?" 

"Yeah, but if you care about him, don't do anything that could get him outed or in trouble." 

"I wouldn't do that." 

"No?" 

"No." 

Sidney shook his head and sighed. "God, if only I could lock you up for three years we'd all be a lot safer." 

"I can't help my age." 

"I know, sweetie. But, it's still a problem." 

"Don't call me that." 

"What?" 

"Sweetie. My mom calls me that." 

"Oh. Sorry. But, look, maybe I'm crazy. Maybe it won't be a problem. Maybe you two will just stay so busy this summer that neither of you will have the time to get into trouble." 

"Maybe." 

"Yeah. Right." Sidney smiled and then used his finger to signal Blair to follow. "Might as well get to work, then. We need to catalog about a dozen packages before noon. I'll show you how to use the new database." 

As he got up, Blair asked about the books on the table. "What about these?" 

"Just leave them there for now. The class doesn't start until Monday, so you've got plenty of time to look through them before then." 

"They'll be okay here?" 

"Sure." As they walked to the supply room, Sidney asked, "No offense, dear, but aren't those the same jeans you had on yesterday?" 

"Yeah, why?" 

"Guess I should either take you shopping or show you the laundry room, too." 

Trying not to be defensive, Blair kept his voice even. "I've got another pair." 

"You forget I saw you only had one itty bitty bag and some books. Is your mom sending more things later? You're here for the whole summer, you know." 

"I'll get by." 

Sidney took a deep breath, patted his shoulder, and nodded. "Shopping. I'll do the inventory later." 

"Won't Eli mind?" 

"Eli doesn't have a clue about the office. It all just gets done by hardworking fairies." He laughed at his own joke before he continued. "In the mean time, you need a new wardrobe, and if you don't mind my saying so, a new hair cut." 

Running his hand through his curls, Blair flushed, his own insecurity about his hair broached. "What's wrong with my hair?" 

"I'd kill for your hair, child, but it needs to be cut properly." He tucked his arm in Blair's and leaned in. "Andre will make it look perfect. Come on." 

"I can't afford all this." 

The quick laugh vibrated through his flesh. "Eli can." 

"I can't charge it to Eli." 

"You don't have to, darling boy. I will. Now come on. Nothing cures a headache or a fever quicker than a new hairdo and free shopping." 

Escorted out, Blair's head spun with the whirlwind known as Sidney. 

* * *

"What'd you do to your hair?" Eli sipped at the red wine as he studied him, his eyes sparkling in the low light. 

"I cut it." 

"I can see that." Shaking his head, the older man smiled. "Let me guess. Sidney took you to Andre's." 

"Yeah." 

"It looks good." 

"Thanks." 

"Of course, it makes you look even younger." 

"Shit." 

Running a hand over his receding hairline, he chuckled. "What you need to do is lose it like I do. Then we'd all know you're getting older." Blair frowned and crossed his arms, and Eli sobered. "Okay, what's wrong?" 

"I just get tired of people talking about age all the time. I don't know why it's such a big deal." 

"Because it is." 

"Oh, great answer." 

Eli snorted and poured himself some more wine. "Look, in every culture age works at marking a person's life. Rites of passage, passing on the traditions of the tribe through a diversity of ceremony. Our world is no different. It's frustrating, I know, but that's just the way it is. You've got a few years left yet." 

"Well, it sucks. I hate being fifteen." 

"You shouldn't." 

"Why not? I don't fit in with people my age." 

"I noticed that." 

"All my life I've been around adults." 

"Didn't you ever have anyone your own age to hang around with?" 

"Not usually. Besides, they were always just kids." 

"And let me guess. They thought you were weird." 

Frowning, Blair shrugged and took several long swallows of iced tea. He grimaced, the cool liquid hurting like scalding glass with every little mouthful. "Shit." 

"You got a sore throat?" 

"Yeah." He rubbed his neck as he complained. "Fuck, it hurts. It started this afternoon." 

"I've got an herbal brew you can gargle when we get home. It should help. Could be just the change in weather." 

"Could be." 

"Want to order dinner now?" 

Sitting back, Blair shook his head. "To tell you the truth, I'm not very hungry. You go ahead and I'll just have some soup or something light." 

"I told you I was paying." 

The words came out angry, each one intense and biting. "It's not about that. I'm just not hungry. No reason to spend money on food I'm not going to eat." 

Holding up a hand, Eli surrendered. "Okay. Let's just go home then." 

"But, you haven't eaten." 

"I've got food at the house." 

"Then why did we come here?" 

"No reason." 

"There must have been some reason." 

"I just thought you'd like it. I was wrong. Sorry." 

Blair's voice softened around the words as he leaned forward. "I do like it, Eli. Honest. It's just I'm not feeling all that great." 

"You still have a headache?" 

"I'll be fine in the morning." 

"If you're not, we're going to the doctor." 

As they stood up to leave, Blair didn't argue. He just stubbornly decided that no way in hell would he go see any doctor. Walking out to the car, he glanced over to see a huge black man in a Jag's jacket watching them intently, his face hostile. "Eli?" 

"What?" 

"Who's that guy?" 

"What guy?" 

"That one over there." 

As soon as the older man looked, the mysterious man no longer existed. "I don't see anybody." 

"I swear he was there." 

"Well, if you see him again, let me know. In the meantime don't worry about it. Now, get in the car and let's get you home." 

"Sure, Dad." 

"Don't call me that." 

"Why not? You're treating me like your son or something." 

"Blair..." 

"What?" 

"Just forget it. Get in the car." 

As he got in the passenger side, he stared out the window to see the brief shadow of the mysterious man. His whole body shuddered, the sick dread an omen he experienced before every bad thing that ever happened to him. "Shit." 

"What is it?" 

"Nothing. Let's go home. I'm just tired." 

"I've got some herbs for that, too. Make you sleep like a baby." 

"I'm not a baby." 

"No kidding. Now, just put your head back and rest. We've got a long drive." 

"God, you're bossy." 

"If you stick around, you'd better get used to it." 

"Who said I was going to stick around?" 

"Nobody. Now, take a nap, kid. You look wasted." 

"Thanks, man. So much for Andre's rejuvenating special oil treatment." 

"Well, that explains why you look like you're ten." 

"Shut up, Eli." 

As he close his eyes, he heard a gentle laughter, a sound so like music he wanted to play it over and over and never let it end. 

* * *

The whole world switched to winter by morning, the deep chill and shiver driving him further under the covers as evil hands tried to pull them away. 

"Stop that, Blair. I need to get you to the doctor." 

"Leave me alone, man." 

"No can do, kid. You're burning up here." 

"Then why am I freezing?" 

"Shit. Come on. Get up and put your clothes on. I called Dr. Samuels and he's going to see us right away." 

"I don't believe in doctors." 

"I don't care if you believe in Santa Claus. Now, get the fuck up and pay attention." 

The commanding tone deserved consideration. Despite the terrible swell of his head and the shredding effect of swallowing, he sat up. "I feel like shit." 

"I know." Hands deftly dressed him, pulling his T-shirt down over his head and sweat pants on from the other direction. Putting on his shoes and socks came right before the strong arm around his middle urged him to his feet. "Now, just follow my lead and we should be okay. I don't want to have to carry you if I don't have to." 

"I'm not that heavy." 

"Yeah, but you puked twice already and I don't want a third time if I can help it." 

"I puked?" 

"Yeah." 

"How come I don't remember?" 

"Fever will do that. Now, come on. Use your legs and walk with me." 

"Okay." The world spun and he needed to lie down, but Stoddard wouldn't let him, kept dragging him around like some damn rag doll. Fucking bastard. 

"Blair. We're at the car. You want to lie down in the back seat?" 

"I always get car sick in the back." 

"The front it is then." 

* * *

"Eli, you know I can't treat him without parental consent." 

"Look, Ed, the kid's sick. He had a headache yesterday and now he's got a fever, sore throat, and he's throwing up. His mom's at some retreat somewhere. Can't you just check him out?" 

"It's against the law." 

"Ed, I hate to call in debts, but you know you owe me." 

Nervously the doctor frowned and turned back to Blair. "So, how are you feeling, young man? Blair, is it?" 

"Yeah, and it's like he said. I don't feel so good." 

"Let's take a look then. Eli, you wait outside until I'm finished." 

"No, please. I want him to stay." 

The doctor shrugged and didn't argue, but didn't look happy. He put a thermometer in Blair's mouth and then took his blood pressure. After he checked the temperature, he frowned and did a quick run of his fingers along his neck. Then he examined his throat and lungs, while shaking his head. As he washed his hands, he talked, his words professional and cold. "I could take cultures, but it's my bet you've got strep throat. Are you allergic to penicillin?" 

"I don't know. I've never taken it. My mom doesn't believe in traditional doctors." 

Samuels turned to Stoddard, his face worried. "I need someone in his family to take responsibility for this." 

"That's no problem. I'm his uncle. Just write the prescription." 

"His uncle?" 

"Yeah. His mother's brother. Blair's staying with me for the summer." 

"Eli, you don't have a sister." 

"She's long lost. Now, don't be a hardass, Ed. Just write the scripts and be done with it. I'll take the heat if there's any problem." 

Reluctantly, Samuels looked first at Eli and then at Blair before raising a hand in surrender. "All right. I'm going to give him an injection here, but I'll give you the meds from my stock, no prescriptions. Just make sure he takes it all and stays in bed the next few days. Plus, you need to watch for any adverse reactions since he's never had penicillin before. And, I'll give you something for the vomiting, but don't use it unless it gets persistent. He needs to keep those pills down." 

"I'll take care of it." 

Samuels pulled Eli to the other side of the room, but Blair could still hear the whispers. "I swear to you, Eli Stoddard, this had better not be what it looks like." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Don't fuck with me. He's underage. If he comes in here for more than strep throat, I'll have your balls. You got that?" 

"You don't have to worry. He's safe with me." 

"Yeah, sure he is. Don't forget I'm the doctor here. I've seen some of your other nephews, but at least they were old enough to fucking vote." 

"Don't." 

"Don't what? I'm warning you, I'm not kidding. I don't care if I lose my license. It's not going to happen again." 

"It won't. This is different." 

"You've said that before." 

"I mean it this time." 

"God, I hope so. He's so young." 

"I promise, Ed. It's not what you think." 

"Then prove it. Bring him back in a week and let me check him over." 

"Done." 

Blair sat very still, not really sure what to say, but as soon as they stopped talking, the doctor filled a syringe and returned to the table. "I need to put this in your hip." Samuels pulled down the edge of the sweats and swabbed off his skin, the coolness canceled quickly by the burning sting. "Wait here while I get you some things you'll need." 

A few minutes later he returned with a paper bag. "Take this, and remember, I want to see him next week." 

"Sure. I'll call you." Eli helped him off the table and back to the car, his balance still shaky. 

Once seated and the door slammed shut, Blair leaned his head back, his eyes closed to block out the brightness. "What was the doctor going on about in there?" 

"Nothing." 

"Didn't sound like nothing. He sounded pissed." 

"Don't worry about it, kid. It doesn't concern you. Now, just try to rest. I've got to stop and pick up a few things. Then you can go back to bed." 

A deep breath and delirious prayer made him speak up. "Can I sleep in your bed?" 

"Shut up, kid. You've got a fever." 

"I'm contagious, too, but you didn't answer the question." 

It took so long to answer, he almost drifted off. Finally at the edge of his hearing, the slightest of whispers came through. "God, I shouldn't do this." 

"Eli?" 

"Go to sleep, Blair. We'll talk about it later." 

* * *

Blair remembered being in the Alps once with his mom, the crystal freezing of the snow searing his feet even through his new thick boots. Lying under the mountain of quilts, the cold sweat drenching his skin, reminded him of the struggle to find shelter during that blizzard. Teeth chattered as he hugged the covers closer, his arms weak from the fight to stay warm. 

"Sit up. I want you to drink this." Eli put the hot mug on the bedside table and helped Blair scoot up. "It's just an herbal broth. It should help you feel better." 

"I'm freezing." 

"I know." Sitting down facing the younger man, he held the cup to his lips and didn't let go as Blair sipped and choked on the drink. 

"It's nasty." Pond scum dipped in charcoal and chalk tasted better. 

"But it works. Trust me." 

He swallowed the last drop before he suddenly retched into the trash can by the bed. Gagging wrenched his gut as he spewed out what he'd just drank. Strong arms held him until he finished and then a cool cloth wiped his mouth. Sinking down with a groan, Eli eased him back under the covers. "You're one sick pup, kid." 

"Oh, man, it hurts." 

"Just hold on. I'll be right back." 

Lying still, Blair rolled on his side, pulling his legs up, the position easing the ache in his belly, the nausea better with his eyes closed. A few moments later, Eli returned and spoke quietly. "You're not going to like this, Blair, but we don't have much choice. You need to stop puking and other than a trip to the emergency room, this is the only way." 

"What?" 

"A suppository." 

"Oh, man, that's gross." 

"Yeah, well, so's barfing every few minutes. You'll get dehydrated if I don't do something." 

"I don't want to." 

"I know, but it won't hurt. I promise. Just stay on your side and relax. It might burn a little, but it'll start working pretty quickly. Should make you sleepy, too." 

"I can do it myself." 

"Normally maybe, but not when you're this sick." 

The covers folded back and his boxers came down. Before he could protest, his cheeks parted and the quick shove inside him took over, the sudden urge to push the cold thing back out almost too much to stop. "Don't do that, Blair. You need to hold it in while it dissolves." 

One hand rubbed his ass slowly as Eli's right index finger gently teased in and out, the cool slickness warming slowly. "See, it doesn't hurt. Just relax." 

"Oh, god." 

"You like that, don't you? Oh, yeah, it feels good. You're so beautiful." 

His cock hardened, each push inside a whip to his back, shudders claiming his control, tiny whimpers answering the whisper as Eli urged him to rock with the rhythm of his actions. Stoddard's left hand reached around and wrapped his erection, stroking it in time with the finger thrusts inside. His whole body jerked as he came, the quick release firing his dulled brain, the flush of heat relieving the chill, his ass on fire with a lovely pain. 

As Eli withdrew his hand, he leaned over and kissed his cheek before he stood up. Taking a warm cloth, he cleaned himself and Blair and then replaced the covers. The bed dipped as the older man stretched out and took him into his arms, pulling him close, nestling his head against his chest as he massaged his back. "You're going to be fine, Blair. Just sleep. You're safe here." 

Lying against Eli, his body trembled, his mind confused. Being held lulled him, made him dash away from the images of what just happened, made him run away from the fear that it might not be right or might not happen again. And, both thoughts made him sick at heart within the arms of a man he trusted. 

* * *

"Hey, you feeling up to a little juice?" Eli stood in the doorway dressed in sweats and a white tank top, a smile on his face. 

Clearing his throat, Blair used his arms to push and lift himself up, his body heavy and achy. "Sure." 

"Your fever's way down. Guess that shot did the trick." 

"I guess." 

Stepping closer, Eli handed him the glass and sat on the edge of the bed. The cool tanginess of the drink burned only slightly, his throat not nearly as raw as before. He finished almost the whole glass before the older man spoke. "Are you sure you're feeling better? You're awfully quiet." 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Or, I will be." He put the glass on the table and pulled a pillow up to support his head and back before he leaned against the headboard. "Shouldn't you be at school?" 

"Yeah, well, that's the advantage to being the boss and a tenured professor. You can pretty much do what you want." 

Blair closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "About last night..." 

"What about it?" 

"I don't know. I feel kind of weird." 

"Why? Are you embarrassed because you were sick?" 

"No, not exactly." 

"Because, if you are, don't be." He ran his hand along Blair's face, his palm caressing his cheek. "You've got beautiful skin. You don't even have to shave much yet." His finger teased along the upper lip, the touch like fire and feather. Stirrings tugged at the younger man's groin, contact pulling at his balls, his cock already half hard. "Soon though. You'll probably have a thick beard when you get older." 

Raising his own hand to Eli's chin, the trace of freshly shaved whisker made a subtle burn. "I like the way you feel, too. Kind of rough, but nice. Not like a girl." 

"Have you kissed many girls?" 

"A couple." 

"Have you kissed any boys?" 

Flushing intensely, Blair drew away, his erection withered. "No." 

"But, you've wanted to, right?" 

"No." 

"You're not attracted to boys?" 

"Not really. I like men." 

"I see." Eli drew Blair's face back toward his and lifted his chin to make eye contact. "So, have you kissed any men?" 

Pulling his knees up, the boy drew away, his body tense at the closeness. "Not really." 

"What does that mean, not really?" 

"It doesn't matter." 

"Sure it does, or you wouldn't be so nervous all of a sudden." 

"I'm not nervous. I just don't feel good." 

"Okay, have it your way." Eli stood up and headed for the door. 

"Wait. Don't go yet." 

"You need to get some more sleep. When you wake up again, you can take a shower and I'll make something light to eat." 

"Please." 

"Please what?" 

"Tell me about last night. I mean, I've never done that before." 

"Done what?" 

"You know." 

Eli crossed his arms, feigning ignorance. "Blair, you had a fever. So, you got a little turned on. It's no big deal. Teenage boys do that." 

He wanted to cry, but refused to, fought the sting and burn of his vision. "So, you're like saying what happened didn't mean anything?" 

"I'm saying I'm glad it made you feel good. You were pretty out of it, but if it made you sleep better, I didn't mind. There's no problem." 

"Yeah. I guess." 

"Just forget about it, then." 

Blair couldn't let it go. No matter what the answer, he had to know. "What about you holding me all night?" 

"You needed holding." 

"So, that was no big deal, too?" 

His stomach clenched, knotted into coils and twists, while he watched Eli's face stay passive a few moments longer. Finally, the older man shook his head and came back to sit beside Blair. "Listen, I like you or you wouldn't be here." 

"I like you, too, man." 

"I know you do. But, you have to remember, other people might get the wrong idea about us. I could get into serious trouble if they found out I even touched you last night, much less slept in the same bed with you." 

"But, we're alone. Nobody's going to find out." 

"Maybe not, but we just have to be careful." 

"I can do careful." 

Eli smiled and wrapped his hand around the nape of Blair's neck, drawing him closer as he whispered, "Kid, if you could do careful, you'd be long gone by now." 

"But, I love you." 

Closing his eyes, Eli rested his forehead against Blair's. "God, I was afraid of that." 

Bringing his head back, he placed his hand on the older man's chest, the words earnest and needy. "But, I do love you. I have for a long time, ever since I read GENESIS OF A PEOPLE and saw your picture." 

"But, that's just a book. You don't really know me. It's just a crush." 

"Fuck that." 

Eli took his hand and held it over his heart as he petted back his hair gently. "Settle down." 

"I don't want to settle down. What I'm feeling, it's not a crush. I've never felt like this before. We're supposed to be together. I just know it." 

Eli's voice softened, the huskiness of it skating the edges of his heart. "How do you know?" 

"Just think about it. What are the odds, with all the people on campus, that the two of us would meet like we did? You had to feel it. Just like magic, man. Bam! As soon as I saw you, I knew it. That's Eli. He's the one I'm supposed to be with." 

"Shit, Blair. Stop." 

"Why? Didn't you say that nothing happens without a reason, that fate plays out a whole web of events sometimes just to bring people together?" 

"Well, I wrote it, so I must believe it." 

"Do you believe it for real, though?" Blair stared into those dark blue eyes and waited, his heart racing, his mind swirling around, too anxious to be still. 

"Yeah, Blair, I do, but only sometimes." 

"What about this time?" 

"Maybe. You're asking a lot." 

"Am I? I don't think so. Sit here and tell me you don't have feelings for me. Do that, and I'm gone, man. No problem." 

The older man's jaw clenched as he squeezed his hand. "I can't tell you that. God help me, I do have feelings." He pulled him closer, Blair's head resting on his chest. "Just don't ever hate me." 

"I could never do that." 

A strong hand cupped the back of his neck, rubbing tenderly, while Eli kissed the top of his head, his voice soft and breathy. "I hope not, because I think I love you, too." 

"Really?" 

"Really." 

"Cool." As he relaxed against the ribbed cotton of the tank top, he closed his eyes, listening to the increased heart beat. 

"You need to rest now. I'll come back later. We'll figure this out when you're feeling better." Eli pulled away and stood up, his face solemn and serious. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. Lie back and rest." 

"Could you hold me for awhile?" 

"Not now, Blair. I've got some things to take care of." 

"But, you're coming back, right?" 

"Of course. Now, be a good boy, and stop nagging, okay?" 

His good feeling doused, Blair bit back his defenses and simply pulled up the covers. "Sure, man. No problem." As soon as Eli left, he turned on his side, buried his face in the pillows, and forgot the sharp tone. Instead he grinned and replayed the "I think I love you" in his head, his heart swollen with hope and wishful thinking. 

* * *

The rattle of ice cubes brought Blair down to the kitchen. "Hey, Sidney. What are you doing here?" 

The older man turned and waved and continued to make a big pitcher of ice tea. "Glad to see you're looking better, hon. You were a little bit puny there for awhile. Had us all worried. Would you hand me that lemon?" 

As Blair fetched the fruit and handed it over, he asked, "Where's Eli?" 

Sidney made a face and shook his head. "Surly bastard's run off somewhere and I don't even care where. The man thinks all he has to do is snap his cute, burly fingers and Sidney will just come running, take care of all his business." 

"What are you talking about?" 

Sidney sliced the lemon on the cutting board as he talked. "He called and said he needed to do some things out of town and wanted me to finish the inventory _and_ come out here to take care of you. Now, don't get me wrong, watching you nap is no hardship, but it was just how he said it. I really think the man takes me for granted." 

Blair sat down at the table and rubbed his face with both hands, his brain and body still sluggish from sleeping. "I'm sorry, man. I don't need baby-sitting." 

"Well, I know that, but I think he just felt guilty taking off like that and leaving you alone out here in the middle of this godforsaken nowhere. Of course, Eli loves it out here and it's very private, but it's not very convenient, especially when he gets some bug up his ass and wants me to just drop every damn thing and take care of whatever little whim he comes up with. Bring me this, check that. Son of bitch needs to give me a raise or something." 

Blair smiled at the snippy rant. "You could always go shopping and charge it." 

"Believe me, it's not unheard of." Sidney wiped his hands and did a twirl with his arms up, showing off his new creamy silk shirt. "Like it? Eli paid for it. I'm going for new shoes this afternoon, the most expensive pair I can find, you better believe it. Man's got to pay for his privileges if he's going to be rude to the peons." He poured the tea and handed Blair a glass and barely stopped for breathing as he continued talking. "So, how are you feeling, really?" 

"I'm a lot better, thanks. Just a little achy." 

"Well, you scared the shit out Eli, that's for sure. Didn't do my blood pressure any good, either. You do look better." 

"Yeah, Eli was great. He even took me to the doctor." 

Sidney's smile vanished and he nodded. "I know. Samuels called me. The man is not happy." 

"So, what's the story there? I didn't understand a lot of what they said, but I got the feeling the doctor didn't like Eli much, but that he owed him." 

"Suffice it to say, if Eli didn't know some dark secrets, Samuels would no doubt have his ass in jail. The dear doctor doesn't approve of his lifestyle." 

"Jail?" 

"If he could manage it, probably." 

Blair hesitated, drank his tea, and then finally spoke. "Has Eli taken other people to this guy in the past?" 

"Why do you ask that?" 

"Just something the doctor said about seeing some of Eli's other nephews." 

"Nephews?" 

"Yeah, he told him I was his nephew. He didn't believe him, though." 

"No, he wouldn't." Sidney moved to the counter nervously and then shook his head as he put the tea in the sink. "This requires something stronger." He reached inside the cabinet and got another glass and then poured himself some vodka over ice, dropping a slice of lemon in for good measure. "It's a long story, hon, but let's just say over the years, Eli has had a few affairs with his students." 

"A lot?" 

"Depends on what you call a lot." 

"And he could get in trouble for that, right?" 

"Well, technically they've all been of age, but it is frowned upon. Still, he's got tenure." 

"But, what does Dr. Samuels have to do with that?" 

Sidney cleared his throat and sipped half the liquor. "You're probably going to find this out if you stick around, so I'm not really telling secrets." 

"What?" 

"Eli's got a temper." 

"A temper? You mean he hits these guys?" His blood chilled as he said it, not wanting to believe the man he knew to be the one Sidney did. 

"There are worse things than getting hit, Blair. Far worse." 

"But, what's that got to do with Eli?" 

Taking a deep breath, Sidney moved from the counter to sit down next to the younger man, his voice softer and less frantic. "Look, I've told you before, I love Eli. We've been friends for a very long time. That doesn't mean I'm blind to the man's faults, just like he's not blind to mine." 

"I still don't understand." 

"Okay, let's just say he gets a little possessive sometimes. He likes things his own way." 

"We all do that." Blair drank some of his tea and noted the uneasiness in his friend's face. "But he wouldn't hit somebody without a reason." 

"Let's just say, he can get rough. Just be careful not to provoke him." 

"Why would I do that?" 

Sidney shook his head, and drank some more. "You're so incredibly young, hon. I keep forgetting." 

"I'm not that young, man." A little flare of anger rippled through his middle, but he stalled it. He liked Sidney, even if he did tell outrageous and exaggerated tales about Eli. "Was there something else you wanted to tell me?" 

"No, not now. I just came out to check on you and bring you the books you left at school. Do you think you'll be up to the first class tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow?" Blair scratched his head, trying to remember the date. "No way. Is this Sunday?" 

"Afraid so, baby. First class is at eight, bright and early." 

"Jesus, how did that happen?" 

"You've been sleeping for a few days." 

"Damn. But, how am I supposed to get to campus if Eli's not back?" 

"He will be. He runs the class." Sidney tipped back the rest of the drink and added, "I thought I should also warn you that you should probably keep it a secret that you're staying out here." 

Running his hand through his hair, Blair nodded. "Yeah, I figured that out by myself. If the others find out, they'll be on my ass." 

"Hon, if they find out, they'll think Eli's fucking your ass." 

Blair blushed and looked down. "He hasn't done that." 

"No?" 

"No." 

"Then do me a favor." 

"What?" 

"If something happens, and you want to leave, call me and I'll come and get you." The words came out low, but even as Blair met the cool eyes. 

"Why would I want to leave?" 

"I just want you to know you've got an option. Eli can be very hard to say no to." 

"And, what if I don't want to say no?" 

"That's fine, but just don't think you have to do everything he says." 

"I won't." 

But he would, and in his heart he knew that. 

* * *

Blair sat on the deck staring up at the stars, pondering his place in the wide expanse of the universe just as Eli pulled into the drive way. He got up right away and went inside, anxious and not quite sure what to say. The older man dropped an overnight bag on the floor by the door, met his eyes and smiled. "Hey, kid, you're looking a lot better." 

"Yeah." 

"So, why the sad face?" 

"I was just worried. I wasn't sure when you'd be back. It's kind of strange being out here by myself." 

Eli shut and locked the door before speaking. "I just had to leave town for awhile." He stepped closer, his face near Blair's, and ran the back of his hand up along his jaw. The heat feathered his skin, made him hard just from the touch. "Did you miss me?" 

"Sure." The word barely formed as his brain sputtered. 

Very slowly, lips captured his own, the tongue easing in, running along his gums and teeth while a hand cupped the back of his skull. A rush swarmed his body as Eli gently pushed him back toward the wall, his groin grinding into his, his mouth stealing his breath. He shuddered, the intensity grabbing his every muscle as a hand rubbed his crotch. Then suddenly Eli pulled back and stepped away. "Missed you, too." 

"Oh, man." Dizzy, Blair held onto the wall to keep from falling. 

"Come on over here and sit down. I want to show you something." Eli motioned toward the sofa as he picked up his bag, put it on the coffee table, unzipped it and took out a small package. "I didn't wrap it, but as soon as I saw it, I thought, yeah, the kid will like that." 

Blair sat down and took the box, his head still buzzing from the earlier kiss. "What is it?" 

"Just open it and see." 

Inside he found three rounded beads woven into a necklace of fine jute threads, the colors of each a rusty pattern against dark cream. "Is this what I think it is?" 

"A friend of mine has a small shop of specialty jewelry. Those are artifacts from three different digs in the Yucatan, probably twelfth century Mayan. He has a local artisan do the weaving." 

"And it's legal?" 

"Completely." 

Blair rubbed the beads through his fingers, the textures smooth contrasted with the roughness of the fibers around them. "It's beautiful. Thank you." 

"Here, let me put it on you. I want to see it against your skin." Taking the piece from his hands, Eli sat behind him and looped it around his neck, tying the cord in a simple square knot. Lips kissed his shoulder and a hand wrapped around his waist pulling him closer, tiny nips at his ear turning his breath to short pants. The whispered caresses warmed him even more. "I've been dreaming of doing this ever since I saw you." 

He moaned louder as Eli sucked and tugged at his ear lobe and then licked down the back of his neck to his spine. "Let's go upstairs, Blair. I want to do this right." 

"I don't know if I can walk." 

A low chuckle came with the words. "Sure you can." Strong arms helped him stand and he barely remembered the trip to the bedroom, the lights on low giving an unreal quality. Angled just on the edge of the bed, he wondered what to do next. Eli still standing, grinned and ordered, "Take off your clothes. I want to see you. All of you." 

Shy protest lost as he stripped off his T-shirt and then stood just long enough to slide off his jeans and boxers along with his shoes. Sitting there totally naked, he swallowed hard and waited, his hands over his jutting erection, his whole body shaking. 

Blue eyes watched him as his lover slowly undressed, firm muscles revealed, arms flexing as he made a show of exposing all of Eli Stoddard. The swollen cock stood out from dark curls, purple and huge, nothing like what he expected, nothing like his own, absolutely amazing. 

Moving closer, Eli used his knees to push Blair's thighs apart and stand between them before he gave a gentle shove backwards. "Move up a little higher on the bed. I need more room." He obeyed without thinking, the voice like some magical elixir, a powerful spell to control his every whim. Kneeling on the bed, Eli stretched out over him, hands on either side of his head, and lowered himself, the weight solid heat and pressure. His cock rubbed against tight muscle as lips took his, the tongues wrestling as he allowed the invasion, the slick heat robbing his air, sucking away his will to worry about living. 

Eli rocked and then licked along his jawline, snarled as he ran a series of bites along his exposed neck and slid even further south. Teeth took his right nipple, sucking and nibbling, his brain flashing harder as he shoved up his hips to increase contact, his lover tweaking his other nub with eager fingers. His gut whirled with flame and coiling, fire wrapping up his belly and down into his balls and thighs. He could only groan louder as Eli licked his way to his cock, his simple kiss nearly bringing him off. "Don't come yet. I want to do more." 

"I can't help it." 

A hand gripped his balls and squeezed, the pain immediate. "Oh, shit." 

"Feel like coming?" 

"Hell, no. Don't do that." 

"I'll do what I want and you're going to love it. Now, pay attention." The voice no longer low and gentle rasped out the words, impatient. "Ever had your cock sucked?" 

"No." 

"About time then." Before he could answer, Eli lifted both his legs and put them over his broad shoulders. Then he quickly lowered his face to his groin, his mouth taking in most of the length, the slick heat bowing his spine as he cried out, gasping for air and more Eli. 

The whole world spiraled into his belly, energy focused to one point as sucking worked to whip and vibrate his very center. A wet finger entered his ass and then fucked him with a steady rhythm before the coming grabbed without warning, jerky spasms wrenching a blast of flashes with every wave of release. Nothing existed but the pleasure, the intense sudden explosion of ecstasy that took away everything but the moment. 

After awhile he realized Eli lay over him again, his mouth kissing his cheek and neck, his body humping into his as he held his own cock, pumping it and bringing himself off in a quick finish. The thrusts grew more frantic and then stopped, his lover's face frozen into a mask more filled with pain than delight. A warm, slimy flood covered his belly as the older man settled back down, the sweat streaming between them. 

Gently Blair touched his cheek, the beard rough against his open palm. "Thanks." 

Not answering right away, Eli slipped to the side and ran a hand up and then back and forth along his middle. Finally he whispered, "Did you like that?" 

"Well, yeah, except when you squeezed my balls, it was great." 

"You're so beautiful. And, I wanted to make it better, make it last." 

"You sure did that." 

Eli took his chin and turned his face to his, his eyes no longer unfocused, but intense. "Let me teach you." 

"That's what I'm here for." 

"I'm not talking about anthropology." 

"I'm not, either." 

* * *

The lecture enticed him, the steady flow of language like a hard rock song pounding Blair's ears. He sat at the front of the room, his mind working hard to focus on content and not the speaker. Eli prowled the room, his hands moving to emphasize his points, his face animated and lively and captivating his audience. "Now, before tomorrow, I want you to read the first six chapters in the survey text and the Thompson's essays in the collection, IN THE BEGINNING. Any questions?" 

"Will there be a quiz?" 

Blair turned around and eyed the stocky boy sitting towards the back, his hand still in the air. He smiled when he heard Eli's answer. "Do you need one?" 

"What?" 

"I mean, is that what it would take for you to read the material?" 

"No, sir, I was just asking because..." 

"Because you're more concerned with grade than content, a product of your culture. I know. Look, what's your name?" 

"Brian, Brian Majors." 

"Brian, I don't give quizzes. Your grade will be based on if you can do the work, write the papers, and basically impress me that you know what the hell you're talking about. Does that answer your question?" 

Blushing, Brian nodded. "Yes, sir. Sorry." 

"No need to be sorry. Someone always asks. You're just the unlucky bastard who did it first this semester." He slapped his hands together and smiled. "Dismissed then. I'll see you tomorrow morning, and don't forget Wednesday, you'll be doing some lab work. Be prepared to name that culture to match the artifact." 

Blair took his time putting his books up and waited until everyone left before speaking. "That was great, Eli." 

"Thanks, kid, but when we're in public, it's Professor or Professor Stoddard, okay?" 

"Sure. Sorry." 

Rebuffed, his face heated, Blair picked up his pack only to have Eli step closer and whisper. "Go over to the office and wait for me there." 

He met Eli's eyes and nodded. "Okay." 

"I'll be about an hour. You can start on the reading." 

"I've already read it." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. In fact, I've read most of the books on the list already." 

Eli snorted, and grinned. "Okay, work on the new campaign with Sidney, then. He's a little pissed with me now anyway. You showing up nice and healthy might calm him down a little." 

"What new campaign?" 

"I'm trying to get a new expedition to the Amazon funded. He's writing up some proposals and grants. Nobody can write one of those things like Sidney. At first I thought he was just fucking some government officials, but turns out he's just good at it." Blair's frown caught his attention. "What?" 

"I like Sidney." 

"So? I do, too. What's the problem?" 

Shrugging, picking up his pack, he spoke quietly. "I don't know. It just sounded disrespectful." 

"Disrespectful? Fuck. I've known Sidney Gold longer than you've been alive, so don't fucking talk to me about disrespectful." The anger pushed the words as Eli grabbed the front of his T-shirt, his face close to Blair's. "Now, get the fuck away from me right now." 

"I'm sorry, man." 

"You should be. Now, do what I said, and get the hell out of here." He shoved him away before he headed out the door. Blair stood there, stunned and shaking, the man so very different than the one who slept in the same bed just this morning. 

* * *

"All right, Blair, honey. Spill it to Uncle Sidney." 

"What?" 

"You look like some lost puppy. What's Eli done this time?" 

Blair turned away from the computer and took a deep breath and shook his head. "Nothing. I'm just a little draggy from the pills I still have to take for the strep. They make my stomach queasy." 

"Queasy, huh?" 

"Yeah." 

Slender fingers patted his head and Sidney kissed his temple with affection. "Well, that would explain that sickly pale look you've got going on. I've got some nice herbal tea to help with that, if you want some." 

"Thanks. I'd like that." 

Sidney busied himself over at the sink, brewing and humming, his hips moving to a song only he heard. Blair turned back to the computer, reading over the last few paragraphs of the proposal. "So, if Eli gets this money, he's leaving for the dig when?" 

"Well, he's got eighty percent of it already, and he has a team together. I'd say by September, he'll be headed south again. Why?" 

"Just wondering." 

"Come on, don't pretend with Sidney. You're wishing you could go, too, right?" 

"I'm just thinking Eli could teach me a lot more than any senior year in high school. Why shouldn't I ask him to take me?" 

Sidney shook his head and poured out some greenish liquid in a mug. As he handed it to Blair, he spoke gently. "There are tons of reasons and you already know most of them. You're a smart boy. I don't have to list them out." 

"But..." 

"No, buts. You know that even thinking about going with him is totally out of the question. Even if your mom agreed, no one else would." 

"I could convince my mom. It'd be an adventure. She'd go for that." 

"Would that be before or after you told her you were sleeping with the good Dr. Stoddard?" Blair didn't answer, but kept his head down while he blew on the steaming liquid. A hand touched his shoulder, Sidney's voice quiet and close. "So, are you sleeping with him?" 

The rush of defensive words left him before he could even speak. "Yeah. Last night." 

"And, are you okay?" 

"It was wonderful." 

"He didn't hurt you?" 

"No." 

Relieved, Sidney petted his head again and then sat on the stool beside him. "I'm glad it was good. The first time should be." 

Blair met his eyes, puzzled. "How did you know it was the first time?" 

"Please." 

"No, I'm serious." 

"I know, but you shouldn't be. It's just that you have to know how truly innocent you are." 

"I'm not so innocent." 

"Not as much as you were, but you're still naive, and frankly, that's part of the attraction. Eli loves playing mentor, playing the teacher to the student." 

"It's more than that." 

"Of course, it is." 

"He says he loves me." 

"Well, of course he does." 

"Stop saying that." 

Sidney smiled and reached over to finger the necklace around his neck. "Eli give you this?" 

"Last night." 

"It's lovely. Did you know it's the real thing, not a replica?" 

"Yeah, he said it was legal, though." 

"Eli says a lot of things." 

Uneasy, Blair pulled away and stood up. "What are you saying, exactly?" 

"I'm saying, if you went across the border and you tried to return wearing that, you'd be arrested." 

"Shit. You're saying he's lying." 

"I'm saying Eli follows his own rules sometimes. He says what he thinks you want to hear. He calls it obfuscation and tries to make everyone happy. The main person he makes happy is Eli." 

Running his hand back through his hair, Blair tried to make sense of the questions in his head. "I don't get this. Why do you two stay friends?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, you both say such terrible things about each other." 

Sidney laughed and drank some tea before he answered. "Like I said, hon, I've loved the man for ages. Doesn't mean I don't know what a shit he is sometimes." 

"Were you two ever lovers?" 

The smile ended and Sidney put his cup down. "No, our relationship isn't about that. I'm not his type. Too old and too wise even when I was younger. The thing is, whatever's between us has nothing to do with how it is between the two of you. I just don't want you to get hurt." 

"I'll be all right." 

"Of course, you will." Eli stood in the doorway, his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed. "Sounds like you two have been having quite the chat." 

"Just telling the boy to watch out for your bad side." 

"Don't worry about the kid, Gold. I'll take care of him." 

With more force than Blair had ever seen before, Sidney walked up to Eli and stood face to face. "You'd better." 

Before Eli could say anything, Sidney walked out, leaving them alone. "You know, one of these days, I may have to fire his faggoty ass." 

Blair kept his mouth shut, cringing at the word and the irony. He thought about Sidney's words and wondered how much to believe and forget and worried he should believe all of it. 

* * *

"It looks great." Blair stared at the table, the meal of roasted duck and snow peas presented like some kind of video gourmet showcase. Candle light muted the world and the rich scents of orange and ginger tickled his nose. "I didn't know you could cook." 

"I don't, but Meyly delivers." 

"All the way out here?" 

"Wherever and whenever I want." 

"And that's because?" 

"Because, I helped bring some relatives to the States by pushing the paperwork and she's paying me however she can. Now, have I passed the interrogation, Sherlock, or can we eat?" 

"I didn't mean to sound nosy, man." 

"I know. You just ask a lot of questions. Maybe you should be a cop when you grow up." 

"What? And, have my mom get pissed? No way." 

Eli motioned to a chair opposite his and sat down. "What's your mom got against cops?" 

Settling down, Blair put the napkin in his lap and waited for the older man to serve up the food as he talked. "She did a lot of demonstrating against the Viet Nam war and got busted. Plus, there were times when I was little, she had some run ins." 

"What kind of run ins?" Eli sliced off some of the breast and served it up before adding the vegetables and sauce. 

"I told you before, my mom sometimes got caught up in schemes. Well, sometimes, people thought I'd be better off raised by someone more traditional. About made my mom crazy. Cops were always the messengers." 

"I see." He poured white wine in both their glasses and then sipped some of his. 

Blair picked up the goblet and eyed it. "I don't drink." 

"No harm in trying." 

"I don't know." 

"Then don't. It's just wine, but it's up to you. I just thought you were old enough to at least try it. Guess I was wrong." 

Bringing the glass to his lips, he whiffed the wine and tasted it, the dry liquid burning the back of his throat. The flavor trailed and spread a wave of fire though his gut as he drank. He swallowed the whole amount before holding it out for more. 

Refilling the glass, Eli smiled. "See. I thought you'd like it." 

"It's not bad. My mom likes this stuff." 

"Your mom's got great taste. And, she makes a great kid, too." 

"Thanks." He sipped at the second glass of wine and then started to eat, the whole time aware of eyes trained on him. 

"I'm sorry about yelling at you this morning, Blair." 

"It's okay." 

"No, it's not. I'm just not used to being called on something like that." 

"So, why are you so hard on Sidney?" He nibbled at the roll and then drank some more of his wine, wondering why it only made him more thirsty. 

"I don't mean to be. Lord knows, I owe him a lot. It's just sometimes he oversteps." 

"Oversteps how?" 

"He's my secretary and assistant, not my wife. He gets involved in things that aren't his business." 

"Like me?" 

"Like you." Before Blair put his empty glass down, Eli filled it again. "I'll be the first to admit that my love life hasn't always been smooth. He just worries. The thing is, you shouldn't listen to most of what he says. He's a little jealous." 

"Jealous?" 

"Yeah. I've never made a pass at him, and he hates that." 

"And, you think he's jealous of me?" 

"Don't you?" 

"Not really, but I don't know him like you do." 

"Exactly." 

Finishing the third serving of wine, Blair fanned himself. "Man, it's hot in here." 

"It's just the drink. Don't worry about it." 

"Cool." He drank a little bit more from the now refilled glass and then stood up to go get some water, his throat parched. The world spun and he sat back down in a hurry. "Oh, man." 

"What?" 

"I'm dizzy." 

"Maybe you need to lie down." 

"Yeah. Okay." 

Eli helped him up to their bed and then carefully removed his clothes. The whole time, Blair blinked trying to see more clearly, the room suddenly so much darker and fuzzy. Once under the covers, he lay on his side as his lover stripped down and crawled in behind him. "I'm sorry about the dinner, man. It's going to spoil." 

"Don't worry about it." 

A strong arm wrapped around him and pulled him close, his backside being rubbed by Eli's hand, his cool slippery fingers sliding down between his cheeks and into him, teasing in and out. 

"What is that stuff?" 

"Just something to help out. God, you feel so good." A mouth suckled the back of his neck, his body firing up with arousal. As his cock swelled, so did Eli's. 

"I want to fuck you, Blair. Let me." While he spoke, the movement against the younger man grew as he shifted him face down on the bed, his larger body kneeling between his legs, the erection humping against his backside, slipping up and down the crease, slowly, gently. 

"I don't know." He ached, the pressure building, as Eli continued to finger his ass, his body trembling. 

"It won't hurt that much. I promise." 

"I've never..." 

"I know. Just relax. I'll take care of it." A kiss at the base of his neck had him spinning, the world not quite centered. Hands lifted his hips, and pushed a pillow underneath him, his cock shoved hard against fabric. "Just take some deep breaths. I'll go easy." 

Blair swallowed back the gasp as the blunt end pushed in, the ring of muscle stretching out into pain and burning, the cock too big to take in without screaming. "Stop, man. It hurts." 

"Trust me. It only hurts at first. It gets better. Just relax a little." Eli shoved harder, the intense stretch stealing his breath, his own erection gone. Every thrust forward stunned him, like a club forced into his gut, a fist rammed in forcing him open wider, every pump like bleeding fire into his brain. 

"Jesus, stop." 

"I can't, not now, not when I'm almost there. Come on, stop being a baby. God, you're so tight." Short panting accented the words, his breathing fast and irregular. "I love you, Blair. You've got to know that." 

The weight pushed him down as Eli finally settled inside completely, his forehead against Blair's back as he waited. Nothing got better, nothing loosened or relaxed, but spasmed tight like rusty spikes in his belly. Instead of withdrawing, the older man groaned and started in again, this time with a steady rhythm, his body arching up with each drive back in. 

Blair's body shook with the cramping, the regular pounding sending his brain into a shivery shimmer, the world not quite there no matter how hard Eli fucked him. He choked back the bile rising and lifted his head up enough to avoid gagging. He wanted to scream, but didn't, just let the man finish, the loud moan with the sputtering movements across his back pressing him down one more time into the pillow. 

After a few minutes, his ass on fire, Eli withdrew and lay beside him, his hand gently wiping away the tears. "Don't cry, kid." 

"It hurt, man." 

"It always does the first time. But, I swear it'll get better." 

"Why should I believe you?" 

"Because, I'll prove it. 

And, he did. Over the next few weeks, Blair found the nightly sessions less and less painful, the older man taking more time to get him ready, occasionally even sucking him off later. Drinking four or five glasses of wine before they started didn't hurt, either. Cuddling afterwards made it work, made him able to go through with it even when it still made him sore. Yeah, being held so carefully and snuggling next to Eli every night and every morning made it all worth it. He came to expect the pain to get the loving without even asking why anymore. 

* * *

"Where's Sidney? He wasn't home when I called last night about the new shipment and that's never happened before." Blair held his thumping head and drank his juice, his stomach too knotted to even try for the toast. 

"I sent him to Mexico for awhile." 

"But why? Who's going to do all the work in the office?" 

"I was thinking you could handle it." 

"Me?" 

"Yeah, you've been doing great. Sidney says you know the whole system." 

Blair put down his OJ and took a deep breath. "Well, I do, but it's going to be hard. When I'm in class, you're going to need someone there to answer the phones." 

"Linda Bowen needs some hours for her work-study plan, so she can do it. It's not like you have to spend a lot of time doing your assignments. You're already ahead of all the others." 

"Don't remind me. Brian Majors hates my guts." 

"Majors is an asshole. Don't worry about him." 

"You don't understand." 

"Understand what? That he's giving you a hard time for showing what an idiot he is?" 

Blair frowned, remembering the taunts of fag and cocksucker aimed his way in the university restroom. "Yeah, something like that." 

"Don't let it get to you. If he says anything, let me know and I'll take care of it." 

"No. I can handle him." 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. He's just pissed because he failed his lab work and I wouldn't help him study." 

"Asshole." Eli finished off his eggs and took the plate to the sink. "I'm going to take a quick piss. You do the dishes." 

"Sure." 

As soon as the older man left, Blair got up and cleaned off the table. He ran the hot water and finished the washing up quickly. After drying his hands, he braced himself forward against the sink, his headache still throbbing and his backside stinging. He never liked mornings, but lately getting up and moving after the sex with Eli took even more effort. 

Eli suddenly stood beside him, his hand touching his cheek. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." 

"You look pale. You feeling okay?" 

"I'm just tired." 

Smiling, Eli leaned in and pulled him into an embrace. "If you're good, maybe I'll let you sleep a little more tonight instead of fucking you until morning." The hug tightened and lips trailed down his neck. 

"Don't, man." 

As he pulled away, Eli jerked him closer, his voice no longer playful. "What? You don't love me anymore?" 

"I didn't say that." 

"Then prove it. Don't pull away." His words lightened again, soft and near cooing as he kissed him, his tongue probing in as he forced him back against the counter. He ground his groin into Blair's, and then pulled back to say, "Show me." 

"We've got class." 

"We've got time. Now, show me you still love me." 

"Here?" 

Eli smiled and swung him around to the butcher block near the corner, his body forced forward across it. Eager hands undid his jeans and slid them down with his boxers as the older man unzipped and spooned behind him. Fingers already slick with lubrication entered him, opening him up some more before the cock shoved in, going deeper with each jab. Blair relaxed his body, resting his head forward, his own flaccid cock rubbing painfully against the wood as Eli filled him completely. Thrusting brought the heat, the swelling roar in his head, the swing of lights swirling near the flame. Several long drives and groans later, his lover shook with release, the familiar cramping worse than usual. 

He stayed there as Eli withdrew, his body sweating and trembling, his arms too weak to lift him up. Eyes squeezed shut, his world spinning and too unstable to risk seeing. A warm cloth wiped his ass and then hands pulled up his jeans over his hips. "Get dressed, kid. We don't want to be late and make anybody suspicious." 

* * *

He missed Sidney. Standing at the work table, he sorted through the inventory lists and sighed. The outrageous man always made it look easy, made the work fun and the day fly by. Alone it just took a long time and annoyed him, taking down serial numbers, checking the packing lists against the order forms, and writing out shipping reports. Boring. Big time. 

"Hey, kid." 

Looking up, he found his mentor standing in the doorway watching. "Hey, man. I thought you had a meeting with the dean." 

"I did, but the old fart canceled. His daughter had a baby or some such shit. How about we leave early, have dinner out, and go see a concert?" 

"A concert?" 

"Yeah, the University is having some aborigine dancers and players over at the theater." 

"Oh, man, I've wanted to see that, but it was too expensive." 

"I know. I got tickets if you're still interested." 

"Of course, I'm interested." 

"Good, then close up shop and let's go get you something to wear." 

Blair looked down at himself dressed in his "Save the Indigenous People" T-shirt and jeans. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" 

"It's a charity event, but you don't want to look like the charity." 

Hurt, Blair shrugged. "I don't have a suit." 

"I know. If Sidney were here, I'd send you two out shopping, but since he's not, I'll have to do it myself. There's a place over on Chelsea. We should be able to find something that doesn't need to be tailored there." 

"What about shoes?" 

"Don't worry. We'll find something." 

Blair put away all the files, turned off the computer, and switched on the answering machine. He followed Eli to the car and got in, uneasy, but not sure why. 

"Okay, kid, what's wrong this time? I thought you'd like going to the concert." 

"I do." 

"So, what's the problem?" 

"I don't know. I guess I'm just not used to having someone run my life." 

"Run your life?" 

"Yeah. I'm not complaining." 

"Sounds like it." 

"I'm just saying it feels weird having you do everything, make all the decisions, even down to what I wear." 

Eli turned in his seat, his face angry. "You can be a real bitch, you know that?" 

"What?" 

"I'm trying to give you a great opportunity, and you're throwing it back at me." 

"No, I'm not." Blair kept his arms around himself, his eyes avoiding Eli's. 

"Yes, you are. You want to fucking leave, there's the door. I'm not going to stop you." 

Looking up, his heart racing, he whispered, "You want me to go?" 

"No, I don't want you to go, but I'm not forcing you to stay, either. You think I run your life, then go live it on your own and see how fucking far you get." 

He could barely breathe, but he managed the words. "I don't want to leave." 

Nodding, Eli patted his face as he grinned. "I didn't think so." 

* * *

"Shit, kid. Remind me never to let you drink whiskey again." 

Blair retched over the bowl, his stomach heaving up wet air over and over. He didn't have enough strength to answer, but just hugged the cold porcelain as he continued to vomit his guts out, the world rolling. 

After he finally stopped, a cool cloth wiped his mouth and hands helped him up and guided him to the bed. Stripped down, he lay on his side, his eyes closed to the terrible spin that threatened to shred his insides. 

A warm hand petted back his hair as Eli spoke quietly. "You shouldn't have been trying to impress David like that." 

"I wasn't." 

"Yes, you were. You think drinking until you fall on your ass is going to win you a prize?" 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. It's partly my fault. I shouldn't have left you with him after the concert." 

"I thought he was your friend." 

"David's a chicken hawk by nature. I just never thought he'd go after you when he knows you're already taken." 

Blair took a deep breath and once again fought off the terrible nausea whirling in his head and stomach. "I didn't think people were supposed to know." 

"They're not, but to some people like Sidney and David, it's pretty obvious. I should've warned you." 

"I didn't know whiskey was that strong." 

"No, but David did." 

"He wanted me to get drunk?" 

"No doubt. I just got back earlier than he planned. Good thing, too." 

"But, he's a dean." 

"So? I'm a professor. What difference does that make? You're a beautiful boy, Blair, even more so because you're so fucking innocent, no clue at all about just how pretty you are. You're at a very dangerous time in your life. There are people like David out there who would take advantage of you in a heartbeat if you didn't have someone to watch your back." 

"Someone like you?" 

"Yeah, like me." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem. Now, why don't you try to sleep it off. I'm going to stay here and make sure you don't get sick again." 

"Man, I feel like shit." 

"Yeah, booze by the pint does that." 

"I'm really sorry." 

"Go to sleep, Blair. We'll talk in the morning. 

* * *

"Here. Drink this." 

Blair stared at the dark green concoction and grimaced, the smell a mix of mold and burnt wood chips. "What the fuck is it?" 

"An herbal remedy an old shaman taught me. He said it cured the bad stomach, translated the hangover from hell." 

"I don't think I can drink it." 

"Just try." 

The bitter liquid burned his mouth and the first swallow knotted his stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting off the nausea. After a few moments the headache and vertigo eased, the drumming in his brain just a little bit softer. "It may taste nasty, but I think it might be working." 

"Good. Now, finish the rest. I can't have you dragging your ass around all day just because you fucked up last night." Eli got up and poured himself more coffee while Blair drained his mug. "By the way, Sidney called last night." 

"Really? When's he coming home?" 

"What? You miss him?" 

"Yeah, a little. I like Sidney." 

"Well, he asked about you." 

"And?" 

"And what?" 

"What did he say?" 

"He said he hates Mexico and I'm a bastard for sending him down there alone. Oh, and he's sending you some things he found in a second hand book shop." 

Blair smiled, just imagining Sidney going through and bargaining, getting the best prices. "Cool. Did he give any titles?" 

"No, but they're supposed to be in later today. He did say something weird, though." 

"What?" 

"He mentioned something about a book about watchmen." 

"Watchmen? Like in tribal watchmen?" 

"You've got me. Just said he found a book you'd been looking for." 

"Oh, man, that's great." 

Eli sipped his coffee and then sat back down. "So, what's the deal about tribal watchmen?" 

For the first time in weeks, the world lightened, the words fresh and lively. "Well, it's this theory I'm working on. I've been reading all these articles and in almost every primitive tribal culture, there's a man or group of men who work as watchmen." 

"So?" 

"So, a lot of these men have special abilities, enhanced senses that let them guard and protect the people. I'm wondering if it's genetic or if it's training. And, I'm wondering if it's just in primitive places or if there's a modern corollary, like with police or the military." 

Nodding, Eli stared off in the distance before he finally spoke. "You know, that might explain a lot. In some of the villages I visited, there were men like that. They acted as guards, but they could hear and see things long before the others." 

"That's what I'm talking about. Do you have a record of those times? Did you take any notes on those men or any particular event?" 

"I can't think of any off hand, but you can read some of my expedition journals if you want. I'll go through them later and mark out the ones that I can remember." 

"Oh, man, thanks." 

Eli smiled and tilted his head, his face relaxed. "It's nice to see you so full of energy again. You've been a little bit gloomy lately." 

Standing, Blair stepped closer, leaning in for a quick kiss. "I'm sorry, man. I've just had a lot on my mind, that's all." 

Taking his hand, Eli squeezed it gently. "I love you, kid. I don't always show it, but I do." 

"I know." 

Eli reached up and tenderly caressed his cheek before he stood up, his voice shifted into command mode. "Okay, enough mush. I've got a seminar to do and you've got a ton of papers to go through before this evening." 

"Man, I want Sidney back." 

"Don't whine, kid. Sidney will be back in a few weeks." 

"You've got no idea what that man puts up with, Eli. I simply could not do this for a living. I don't know which is worse, doing the books or grading and sorting through all your paperwork." 

"Well, someone's got to do it." 

"He deserves a raise." 

"He's got my charge card." 

"It's not enough, man. Being your secretary sucks." 

Grinning, Eli pulled him into a bear hug. "And, what about being my lover?" 

"Depends on the night." 

Blair pulled away, laughing and running out the door before Eli could catch him. 

Eli frowned as he went after him, muttering and not the least bit amused by the humor. "You're going to pay for that one, kid." 

* * *

Sitting on the sofa, his legs tucked under him, Blair ran his hand along the smooth edges of the leather-bound book. He put it beside him and rested his head back, closing his eyes, imagining what it might be like to have heightened senses, to smell or hear things others couldn't, to feel the slightest vibration of the air or the earth, to see the world for miles across open spaces. Taking a deep breath, he pretended he could sniff out a sentinel, a man who could protect him forever. 

A key in the lock brought his head up as he glanced at the clock. Eli said he wouldn't be home until after midnight, but the time said ten. "Shit. Who is it?" A man opened the door, the same black man who watched outside the restaurant during that first week with Eli. "What do you want?" 

He flashed a smile and held up the key. "I'm an old friend of Eli's. I didn't mean to scare you, but he didn't say anything about a new roommate." 

"He never mentioned you, either." Blair stood up and moved to the side of the room closest to the deck doors. 

"No reason why he should. He thinks I'm out of town." 

"I saw you before, though, earlier this summer. You were watching us outside of Leonardi's." 

"You've got a good memory." 

"So, what do you want?" 

"My name's Thomas. I'm here to see Eli." 

"You should've called first." 

The larger man closed the door behind him and moved into the room, looking around, admiring the surroundings. "Still as nice as ever. I used to live here, too." 

"Yeah?" 

"Eli and I were close once." 

Blair stepped behind the bar, the structure the only solid thing to put between the man and himself. Nervous, he tried not to think about the implications of the words. "So, did he know you were coming out here?" 

"No. I just thought I should let him know I was back in town. I wanted to see him again, maybe do a little reminiscing. Like I said, we were really close once. Shared everything." 

Just the way he said it, the low husky rumble of words chilled him. "He's not here." 

"You said that. I'll wait." 

"I don't know. He could be late." 

"That's all right. I can camp out if I need to. In the meantime, tell me about you. What's your name?" 

"Blair." 

"Blair what?" 

"Sandburg. I'm a student at the university." 

"You look a little young to be a college student." 

"I'm on a scholarship." 

"I see." Thomas leaned against the bar, his dark eyes leering. "How about you fix me a drink while I wait? Scotch on the rocks." 

Without talking, Blair avoided his gaze, got a glass and poured out the liquor. He handed him the drink and then backed up against the wall, his hands behind him. As Thomas sipped, he stared, his focus intense and unnerving. "You're a gorgeous boy, Blair Sandburg. It's no wonder Eli's taking such a risk." 

"Risk?" 

"If anyone found out he's got a child stashed away out here, there could be all kinds of problems." 

"I'm just staying here because they messed up my room assignment." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. Eli's just being nice." 

"You're a beautiful liar, too. I like that." 

"Fuck you." 

"In time, dear boy. In time." 

Trembling both with fear and anger, Blair steadied his voice. "Listen, I don't know who the hell you are, but you should leave. When Eli gets back, I'll have him call you." 

"I don't think so. I'm staying here." 

"No way." 

"You don't know shit about the man you're living with, do you?" 

"I know enough." 

Thomas finished the drink in one long swallow before he set the glass down and stepped behind the bar, edging in closer, his massive body blocking his escape. "Then you know Eli enjoys a bit of celebrity. His name and his reputation are important. How much good would it do if it got out he was fucking a fifteen year old boy?" 

"How do you know how old I am?" 

"I know more than you think. You're right about me watching you two back in June. I wanted to see how far he'd go, how many risks he'd take to keep you to himself. You're the youngest one yet, and, if I must say, the most beautiful." 

He reached out a hand to touch his cheek, but Blair pushed it away. "Don't." 

"You're making a mistake. I could finish you both. You'd survive, of course, but Eli would be ruined." 

This time when he extended his hand, Blair let him make contact, shuddered, but didn't pull away. "What do you want?" 

"The same thing Eli wants. You." 

Shit. "No." 

"Think about it." 

"I don't have to think about it. I said no." 

"No?" Before he could react, Thomas grabbed the back of his head with his hair and yanked hard enough to bring him down to his knees. "If you love him, you'll suck me off. You don't, and I'm going to the police." 

"And tell them what? You can't prove anything." 

"You think a physical wouldn't prove he's been fucking you?" 

Blair squeezed his eyes shut, his heart racing as one hand held his head steady and the other unzipped to free the cock, dark and leaking, reeking of heated musk. Praying to himself, the fear of choking real, he practiced another of the skills that Eli taught him, to take a deep breath and to swallow only what he had to. 

* * *

"So, what do you think about Thomas?" Eli buttered his toast and then drank some of his orange juice. 

"Is he still here?" 

"Yeah. He's sleeping in your old room." 

"How long's he going to stay?" 

"A few weeks, until the mortgage on his new house clears. Why?" 

"Just wondered." 

Putting down his fork, Eli wiped his mouth, frowning. "Okay, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong. I just don't like him staying here." 

"You don't even know him." 

Blair stood up and went to the window, the summer rain coming down harder, steaming up the bottom edge of the woods. He didn't want to say what he had to say. After a few moments, he finally whispered. "He scares me." 

"Scares you? Why?" 

"I don't know. He just does. He came in here last night like he owned the place and wouldn't leave when I asked him to." 

"What else?" 

"What do you mean?" He kept his back to the older man, his hands shaking even as he stuffed them deep in his pockets. 

"I mean, what did he do before I got here? And, don't stand there and lie. You're good at it, but I know you, so don't even try it. Now, tell me the truth. Did he hurt you?" 

"Not exactly." 

"Then what exactly?" 

He sat back down at the table, but still avoided watchful blue eyes. "He threatened to tell people about us." 

"And?" 

"And he made me suck him off." 

"Shit." Eli jumped up, his face flushed and angry. "That son of a bitch. He knows better." 

"I don't want any trouble. I just want him to leave." 

Running his hand back over his hair, Eli nodded. "I can understand that, but it's not that simple." 

"Why not?" 

"I owe him. Besides, once you get to know him, he's not a bad guy. I mean, he fucked up last night, but he's not usually like that." 

"Not a bad guy? How can you say that? You weren't here, man." His lungs hurt from holding himself so tightly, his body tired from straining to hold back what he wanted to scream. "He _forced_ me." 

"But he didn't really hurt you, right? Look, it's not like you haven't sucked anyone off before." 

"That's not the fucking point." 

"I know." Eli wandered back and forth a few times and repeated, "I owe him, Blair. I can't make him leave." 

"Why do you owe him?" 

"It's a long story, but he's got a right to be here." 

"But not a right to touch me like that. Shit." He wrapped his arms around himself even more firmly, wishing he could take one more long, hot shower. He ached to wipe away the memories of the hands, and the man, and the cock, and all the nasty smells and sounds that came with them. "Then just promise me I don't have to be here alone with him." 

"Okay." Eli kneeled at his feet and touched his face gently, his fingers teasing his jaw and chin. "Tell me the truth. Did he hurt you?" 

"No, not physically." 

"Good." He stood up again and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry about Thomas. He won't touch you again unless I say so." 

"What?" A quick panic zipped through his brain, the words scary and full of terror. 

"He just didn't understand. In the past, we've always shared lovers." 

"I don't want to be shared." 

"That's because you've never tried it." 

"And I don't want to." 

"Just think about it. Remember, I owe him. Plus, if you think one lover can make you feel good, just wait until you have two at the same time." 

Blair shook his head and held up a hand. "Wait, man. This is so not going to happen. I mean, I love you, Eli, I do, but I'm not into threesomes." 

"You don't have to decide anything right away. Just think about it. I mean, how can you reject something out of ignorance? That's what kids do, not grown men. You've got to try something at least once to make an informed decision, right?" 

"I don't have to cut off my arm to know I don't like it." The more he spoke, the more angry he got. "You don't know what he did last night, man. How can I sleep with someone who's going to treat me like shit and then turn around and expect me to love him? I can't, and I don't sleep with people I don't love." 

"How noble." The baritone voice sounded behind them. 

"Morning, Thomas." 

"Morning, Eli. I heard our boy talking, so I thought I'd come down and see what the deal was." 

"He says you made him suck you off last night. Is that true?" 

"You trained him well, too. He did a great job." 

Blair put his hand over his mouth, the sudden gagging sensation too sudden. He stayed quiet as he watched the two men face off, his lover and Thomas just inches away from each other, the energy shimmering the air around them. "You shouldn't have done that. We had an agreement." 

"Agreements change, lover. We always share and you've had him to yourself too long. I got tired of waiting." 

Eli glanced over at Blair, his face strained and fearful before he turned back to the larger man. "Look, he's young. He doesn't understand a lot of things yet. Just give me some more time." 

"You've spoiled him too much already. He thinks he has a choice." 

"He does." 

"Of course." Thomas smiled and stepped over to the table, looking down. "I'm sorry about last night, Blair. I know it would've been easier if I'd waited for Eli, but you'd better know now, you belong to me as much as you belong to him. So, if you want one of us, you've got the other." 

"I don't understand." 

"You will." He walked back toward the stairs and spoke to Eli. "Tell him, Eli. He has a right to know. If you don't do it, I will." 

As soon as he left the room, Blair asked, "What the hell is he talking about? What agreement? And, what the fuck does that have to do with me?" 

"It's a long story, kid." 

"Well, if you don't tell it, I'm out of here." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

Suddenly drained of energy, Eli sagged down into the chair across from him, his voice low. "I didn't mean for this to happen." 

"Just tell me." 

"A long time ago, Thomas saved my life. I made a really bad choice in bed partners and almost died for it. We became lovers after that, and it's lasted for years, but we both get tired of just the two of us, so we bring in new people." 

"New people?" 

"Yeah, a third party, but the thing is, the third party doesn't always know at first he's a third party, you know?" 

"Shit. Are you saying that you or Thomas get with someone alone and then bring up the trio thing later?" 

"Yeah, and so far, it's worked pretty well, but Thomas has a tendency to get impatient." 

"And that's the agreement?" 

"Part of it." He glanced away uneasily. 

"What's the rest of it?" 

"Most of the time there's no problem. With only a couple of exceptions, most guys go along and have a great time. Everybody wins." 

"Fuck that, and tell me the rest of it." 

"Thomas doesn't take no for an answer." 

"Shit." Blair stood up, pacing the room, his mind storming through his list of choices. Sidney gone, his mom out of the country, he still loved Eli. Damn. 

"Honestly, Blair, I won't let him hurt you. I just have to share. It's what we do." 

"This is crazy, not to mention criminal." 

"Criminal? Don't you think I fucking know that? You're fifteen. I could go to prison for just what we've done so far." 

The image of his lover behind bars, locked away in a dark place, away from the world of anthropology scared him. "I don't want that." 

"Don't decide out of fear. I know it's a shock, but just think about it. We don't have to do anything right away." 

"What would happen if you broke the agreement?" 

Eli sat back, his face twisted. "He'd send my ass to prison." 

"Prison?" 

"He saved my life once and I love him, but he's a selfish bastard. He can't stand for me to be with anyone else for long." 

"So, you're saying if I don't go along and you try to protect me, he'd send you to prison?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh, man." 

* * *

The day blurred. Sitting at the monitor Blair tried to focus on the inventories, but found his mind wandering over the last few days, the conversations, the sex, the fears. He shuddered before he realized Eli stood behind him. "You okay, kid?" 

"Not really, no." 

Strong hands massaged his shoulders, the even kneading loosening the tight muscles. "I'm sorry about all this." 

Blair shrugged off the touches and stood up, his body too tense to sit still. "But, what are we going to do about it, man? I don't want you to get hurt and I don't want to leave, but I don't see many options here." 

Eli walked over and closed the shades to the window before going to the door and turning the lock. "There aren't many. You could go to the police, but if you do that, it'll ruin me." 

"I know." 

"And, I don't want to lose you, but if you stay, Thomas is going to expect to be included." 

"I already told you, I don't want to do that." 

"I know what you told me." The older man edged closer, backing Blair up to the wooden work table. "I also remember you saying you loved me. That you'd do anything for me. Do you remember saying that?" He ran his hands along Blair's arms and then drew him in for a kiss, his tongue going in deep, his lips punishing and fierce. Pulling back, he gripped the boy's waist and lifted him to sit on the low table and stood between his legs. 

"I remember." 

"So, were you lying?" 

"No, I do love you." 

"Then prove it. Trust me enough to make it okay to be with both of us." 

Hands unfastened his belt and undid his jeans. Eli slipped them off with his underwear and pushed him to lie back on the table, his ass right at the edge, his knees up. A drawer opened and the older man pulled out some lotion, pouring it over his hands, and then sliding his finger inside, using the rhythm Blair liked, the one that made him ready so quickly. Before the younger man could protest, the finger fucking stopped and an oil slicked cock rammed into him. The fire in his ass running up to his belly, his guts conspiring with his brain to be lost forever, to sink into a clamoring darkness, a place without reason. The thrusts increased, deeper and harder. For once his lover pumped Blair's cock in time with his own ride, the pressure like pure pleasure, the shivering spasm of release intense to the bone, the urgency a true spicy heat bringing him off faster than ever. 

He lay there exhausted and sweaty, Eli doing his last few pumps before shaking with his own coming. Slumping down over him, Blair wrapped his arms around his lover and held on tight. After a few moments, the older man lifted his head and kissed him, his lips soft and languid. As he withdrew, he smiled and spoke in a hush. "I know you love me. Blair. Don't leave me. You've got to reconsider this thing with Thomas. He won't hurt you again. I promise. Please?" 

He wiped away the sweat trailing down the side of his mentor's face, his chest aching from dread. "I won't leave you. And, I'll think about it." 

* * *

Blair sat on the deck, his eyes staring off in the distance, not seeing anything but a replay of all the leers and hungry glances from Thomas over the last few days. The sliding door behind him opened and he turned his head to see the man standing there. "What do you want, Thomas?" 

"I think we need to talk." 

"I told Eli I'd think about it. I'm still thinking." 

"Looks more like brooding." 

"Might be." 

Thomas sat down in the chair beside Blair's and leaned forward. "I've been thinking about what happened that first night." 

"Join the club." 

"Don't be so fucking sarcastic." 

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do." 

Taking a deep breath, Blair watched Thomas pull himself upright, his patience tested. "You don't make anything easy." 

"Made it easy enough when you shoved your dick in my face." 

"Not really. I thought you were kidding when you resisted." 

"Kidding?" 

"I thought you were into a scene, some kind of role playing. I had no idea that you really didn't want it." 

His lungs tightened, his words pushed out in anger. "You're a fucking liar. You knew exactly what you were doing." 

"No. I thought Eli had told you. It wasn't until the next morning when you were all upset, I realized he hadn't. I have to admit, now that I think about it, I owe you an apology." 

"You owe me more than that, man. Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?" 

"Because Eli loves you." 

Blair swallowed hard, working to get his rage in check. "What's that got to do with it?" 

"He told you we were lovers, right?" 

"Right? So?" 

"So, we still are." 

Stunned, Blair shook his head. "No fucking way." 

"Yes. Just last night." 

"Fuck." 

"Yes." 

Standing, his mind spinning back to his own lovemaking session that morning, he braced himself forward on the rail. "Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because, we both love him. He loves both of us. What's wrong with wanting to share that?" 

"I don't love you." 

"You don't know me." 

"I know what I need to know." 

"Which is what? Some bias based on one misunderstanding?" 

Blair rubbed his face with both hands, his head pounding. It took several moments before he calmed enough to speak without his voice breaking. "It was more than a misunderstanding, and you know it. Why are you trying to make it seem like I'm being unfair, that you're the victim here? You're not. You had the power and you abused it." 

"And if I say I'm sorry, you can't find it in your heart to forgive me? Not even if it means hurting Eli?" 

"Don't bring him into this, man." 

"He's already in it. He wouldn't still be coming to me if you gave him everything he needed." 

"Shut the fuck up." 

"What? You don't like the truth? Listen, my young friend, I've been with Eli Stoddard for over twenty years, longer than you've even been alive. You want a piece of him, you're going to have to take me as part of the package. You don't, you might as well pack your things and go home to mama. Why don't you just leave now and come back when you're not such a big baby?" 

"You bastard." 

The rough voice softened as he stood up and moved closer. "Yeah, no doubt about it. Between Eli and myself, I'm the one you'll fight the hardest. But, I know you don't want to hurt him." 

Blair pulled his arms in around himself, his face flushed and nervous. "Eli said you'd send him to prison if I didn't go along with this. How could you do that if you say you love him?" 

Thomas shook his head, his face relaxed, not the least bit tense. "Is that what he told you?" 

"It's what you threatened to do that first night." 

"Yeah, but like I said, I was just playing a game." 

"So, are you saying he's lying?" 

"Eli likes to call it obfuscation." 

"I don't give a fuck what he calls it. Is he lying? Would you turn him in about us?" 

Tilting his head, his face more serious, Thomas spoke calmly. "If I did that, I'd have to take the risk that you'd turn me in, too. Now, granted, I don't have as much to lose, not being famous, but it'd still do me some damage. Most people don't like to do business with accused sex offenders." He smiled as he reached out his hand, just barely pushing back a curl before Blair pulled away. "And, I'll bet you could put on quite the convincing performance, eh? You'd tell everybody about how awful it was when I forced you because I was Eli's jealous lover. Now, that could be quite the scandal. Wonder how many anthropological grants and donations he'd ever get after that?" 

"But, you're saying you wouldn't turn him in if I say no to this whole threesome thing?" 

"I'm saying I want what's best for Eli. I think that's you and me showing him how much we care. I don't think that includes a trip to isolation in prison." 

"Isolation?" 

"Most sex offenders get segregated, otherwise they get raped by the other prisoners. Eli did a study on it once, but never published. Kind of ironic when you think about it." 

Blair stayed quiet, his headache even worse. He sat down before he finally spoke again. "I need to know why he lied." 

"Because he wants us both. He thought that was the easiest way to do that." 

As Thomas reached out to touch his hand, he jerked away. "Don't. I need to think about all this and talk to Eli again. I still don't trust you." 

"But, you trust Eli?" 

"Yeah, or I did. I don't know." 

"You look pale. Maybe you need to rest." 

"Yeah, I've got a killer headache." 

"Go upstairs and take some aspirin. I'll tell Eli you want to see him when he gets in." As Blair stood up to leave, Thomas added, "We'll work this out, Blair. It's going to be great between us." 

"I just don't see that happening, man." 

"You will." 

Heading upstairs, Blair fought the urge to run and call his mom, tell her about all the lies he'd told her about his summer, go home, leave all the confusion behind. He knew she'd forgive him, remembering all her own failed romances. Instead, he lay on the bed he shared with Eli, rolled over, and slammed his fist into the pillow. The son of a bitch had a lot of explaining to do and he'd better have some damn good answers. 

* * *

"Hey, kid. How you feeling? Thomas said you had a headache." 

Blair sat up slowly and settled back against the head rest, his brain still fuzzy from sleep. He rubbed his eyes while he spoke. "What time is it?" 

"After ten. Here, drink this. It'll make you feel a lot better." 

Taking the cup, Blair sniffed the herbal tea, the aroma spicy. "What kind is it?" 

"A special blend. I think you'll like it. Drink up before it gets cold. It works better when it's still warm." 

"Okay." He drank down the first half and noted the after taste, kind of bitter at the back of his throat. Finishing it off, he handed the cup back and then refocused his eyes in the low light. "Where have you been all night?" 

"I needed to work late. I talked to David and he's got a good feeling about my final grant coming through. Said I might know as soon as next week." 

"How soon would you be leaving after that?" 

Eli touched his face as he edged closer. "Don't worry about that now." 

"I'm serious, Eli. Does that mean you'll be leaving sooner?" 

"It won't be before the course is over. That'll be mid-August." Blair avoided Eli's eyes and pulled away as the older man stroked his face. "What's wrong? Head still bothering you?" 

"I talked to Thomas. He said you two are still fucking." 

Instead of standing, Eli sat very still, his voice not changing. "Did he say it like that?" 

"No. I'm saying it like that. Are you?" 

"We're still lovers, yes." 

"Bastard." 

"Is that for me or for Thomas?" 

"Both." 

"I told you before Thomas and I were together. I told you I loved him, too. Why does my sleeping with him surprise you?" 

Blair met the blue eyes, the face staring at him nearly a stranger's. "How can you say that, man? I thought you said you loved me." 

"I do." 

"Then, I don't get it." 

"Haven't you ever loved more than one person at a time?" 

"Not as lovers, no." 

"How many lovers have you had?" 

"Just you. You know that." 

"Then you need to understand that people are different. I need both of you to be happy." 

Suddenly dizzy, the heat in the room flushed his skin, his stomach burning. He lifted his hand to his head as he closed his eyes. "Man, I feel funny." 

"Just lie back. It's okay. You'll be feeling great in a minute." 

"What?" 

"Just relax. Don't fight it." 

"Fuck, man. What'd you do?" 

"Just gave you something to ease the tension. Thomas told me you were pissed. There's no need to be." 

The world floated, light, warm, and breezy as Eli ran his hands along his middle, the touch like heat straight to his groin. Gently, lips took his, the pressure easy and then more intense, breathing not rushed, but languid. His cock swelled with the tender touches through the denim. The licks along his neck swarmed his brain with fever, made him hungry for more, his own arms pulling his lover closer. "God, Eli, I love you." 

"I know you do, baby. Just let me make it better." Clothes stripped away easily, his naked flesh slicked with sweat, the air swimming and rushed. "Don't fight me on this." 

"I'm not fighting." 

"I love you." 

Bare flesh sizzled against his, shifting and moving, the universe spinning as the mattress dipped deeper. So many hands stroked and fondled, mouths nipping and licking, shadows blocking the light as he tried to keep breathing. The groans chorused around him, his eyes unfocused, blurry, but wide enough to suddenly realize Thomas touched and kissed him, his fingers working inside him. 

"Stop, man. I don't want this." 

"Shush, baby. It's okay." Eli caressed his face and held his hands still as Thomas continued to suck his cock and finger his ass. He bucked harder only to find himself flipped over, his face shoved down into the pillow, Eli's soft whispers urging him to be quiet. "Stop fighting, baby. It's going to be beautiful. You'll see. He knows what he's doing." 

Before he could scream louder, strong hands shoved his legs apart and lifted his hips. "He's going to love being a bitch, Eli. He's perfect." 

"Just do it." 

"Don't rush me." The whole time he talked, Thomas continued to prepare him, shoving in further, the rough touches searing. "I've been waiting to fuck him too long to hurry." The sudden slap to his backside charged his fear and withered his cock even more. 

"Don't man. Please." 

"Beautiful bitch, stop begging." The blunt end pushed in to spread his ass wider, the stretching too fast and painful. His groan only made the larger man thrust harder, calling to Eli to join him. "Fuck his face, baby. Oh, yeah, he's so good. Do it for me." 

His belly cramped with the full cock ramming inside of him, his throat gagging as Eli forced himself into his mouth, their rhythm matching as his body rocked beyond his power. Light narrowed, his lungs needing more air, Eli's cock hard and bruising his lips, fucking his face, Thomas punishing his insides, straining his limits. Nothing seemed real all of a sudden, the pain like ether barely there, his mind tripping off to hide from the thunder of pain exploding inside him. 

He couldn't stand it and he couldn't stop it. 

Blacking out nearly claimed him just before Eli finally freed his face, his lips swollen and bleeding, the older man's cock still hard and leaking. Gasping for air, Blair didn't even bother to talk, just endured the final pushes inside him while Thomas spasmed several times, his calls wild and frenzied. Finally he pulled out, and before Blair could break away, Eli and Thomas traded places, Thomas holding him down and Eli lined up behind him. "Not yet, Blair. Almost there. It won't take long. I promise. You're so fucking beautiful." 

Driving inside with one full movement flamed his world into confusion, his lover hammering into him while Thomas stroked and cooed at his face, calling him bitch and lover with affection. Sight failed him, the sting of filmy vision the aftermath of Eli coming inside, biting the back of his neck as he whimpered and called out. "God, I love you." 

Weight stole his breathing again, the crushing like stones pressing him into oblivion, his brain still swirling, sounds far away and unreal. Hands delivered cleaning, the warm cloths wiping away the semen, the spit, but none of the shame, none of the filth he carried inside him. 

His head forward, his eyes squeezed shut, Blair fought his own screams and kept his mouth shut, swallowing his own blood. He didn't say a word even when they asked him stupid questions. Voices echoed and faded and a freezing darkness claimed him, his tears still streaming. 

* * *

The next few days ran together, hazy and indistinct, day and night with wild, frightening images. Sitting at the table, head in his hands, Blair ignored the pain and tried to tame his breathing. His stomach pitched as Eli put the orange juice in front of him. "Drink it, Blair." 

"I'm not thirsty." The words came out raspy and dry, his throat clenching around the voice he wanted to silence. His face throbbed from where his teeth shredded the inside of his lips and cheeks and the deep bruising ached when he swallowed. 

"You're just being stubborn. Drink the fucking juice." Picking up the glass, Blair took a small sip, grimaced, and put it back down without speaking. Eli sat down across from him, his hands clasped together, face worried. "If you're trying to scare me, kid, you're doing a great job." Blair kept his eyes down, the work to move his arms to take another drink too much. 

"I'm not trying to scare you." 

"Look, you keep this up and I'm going to have to take you to Samuels. Is that what you want? The prick already hates my ass." 

Lifting his head, Blair studied his lover's strained face. "It's that tea you keep giving me. I can't think straight." 

"It's just supposed to calm you down, not knock you out." 

"I don't give a shit what it's supposed to do. I'm telling you what it does." 

"Okay, I understand. No more tea, but you have to start drinking and eating. It's been three days. You're wasting away here." 

"And who's fault is that?" 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd freak out like this." 

"I told you." Air collapsed and he closed his eyes, his mind reeling. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"How many times do I have to say it? I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." 

Mustering all the energy he could, Blair pulled his flannel robe around his shoulders, his body shaking. He stood up and steadied himself against the table. "I need to lie down." 

"Let me help you." 

"Don't touch me, man." 

"Okay. Sleep it off and I'll bring a tray up later. If you don't eat soon, though, I'm serious, I need to take you to the doctor. This isn't normal." 

"Fuck normal, Eli. I feel like shit. Just leave me alone." 

"I will just as soon as I'm sure you're okay." 

"I'm not okay. I'm sore and I hurt all over. But, it's more than that. I thought I could trust you. You fucked up, man." 

"I know. I'm sorry." 

"It's going to take more than that." 

"What's it going to take?" 

"I don't know. But, to start, get rid of Thomas." 

Eli stood up, his face suddenly angry. "So, that's what all this is about. You're trying to make me feel guilty so I'll do what you want." 

"Fuck off. Do what you want, man. I'm out of here anyway just as soon as I can find a place to go." 

As he headed to the stairs, Eli blocked his path. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Thomas is gone already. He's in his new house and he's leaving town on business in the next few days. He won't be back until later this summer." 

"You're lying." 

"No, I'm not." 

Blair slumped down and sat on the bottom step, his back aching and bruised. "I don't know what to believe anymore." 

Sitting beside him, Eli wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him in. "I swear he's gone. There's just the two of us now. You can't leave me. Don't you know how much I love you?" 

Talking took such concentration, the training of tongue to form the sentences a struggle. "Not really. You say it, but then you turn around and pull this shit. I don't understand how you can say you love me and drug me and then, then..." 

The words stalled in his throat, the gagging a reflex. He didn't throw up, but came close, the heaving jerking his muscles. Eli held him to his chest, rocking his body and stroking his face gently, soothing him with a soft voice so much like an angel's. "I'm so sorry." Over and over, until he begged. "Please forgive me." 

Blair squeezed his eyes shut against the tears and showed him mercy, his love battered, but not quite dead and buried completely. 

* * *

The water ran cold before Blair turned off the shower, the shaking starting all over. Eli helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in the towel, drying his hair with another, his touches strong and secure. "You're just weak, baby. It's going to be okay." 

"I'm tired." 

"I know you are. Come on. Let's get you dressed and then you can eat something. Get your strength back up. You haven't eaten for four days now." 

"I makes me sick to think about it." 

"Then don't. It's over. Can you dress yourself?" 

"I think so." Sluggishly, he took the boxers and put them on awkwardly while Eli stood close just in case he needed help. Then the jeans and T-shirt went on slowly, every movement forcing stubborn muscles to complain. The older man kneeled and put on his socks and shoes. The whole time, Blair watched him, took in the sorrow, the wounded expression. He hated seeing Eli so sad, and yet somewhere deep inside himself, he smiled knowing the man he loved suffered to win him back. 

Standing, Eli helped Blair to his feet and guided him downstairs, sitting him at the table. "I've got some fresh soup and bread and you're going to eat it, understand?" 

"Sure." 

He sat quietly while his lover fussed around the kitchen, first handing him the ice tea and then warming the food for both of them. By the time Eli served it, the aromas enticed him. Picking up a spoon, he dipped it in the broth and asked, "What's in it?" 

"Just some fresh squash and onion, a little butter and herbs. Go on, try it." 

As he ate, he tried to ignore the pain it caused, focusing instead on the rich flavor. "Not bad." 

"Don't eat too fast. You might get sick." 

"I'm fine, Eli. Just give me some time here, okay?" 

"You're not fine. The swelling's going down, though. That's something." 

"Yeah." He ate a few more spoonfuls of soup and tore off a piece of bread, buttered it, and chewed slowly. 

Eli fidgeted a bit with his napkin before he finally spoke. "I got a phone call from David this morning. Guess what?" 

"What?" 

"They're giving me an award for Anthropologist of the Year for my work in Costa Rica." 

"That's great." 

"You don't sound happy." 

"I am. You deserve it." 

Eli drank some of his beer before he continued. "Anyway, he's giving a party on Saturday. He wants you to be there." 

"Me?" 

"Yeah. Despite the drinking fiasco last time after the concert, he's impressed with you. It'll be a great opportunity to meet a lot of the in crowd from the university. Think you'll be up to it by then?" 

"I don't know. That's only a few days from now." He touched the side of his mouth, the cracked lower lip scabbed over. 

"Don't worry about that. It'll be healed by then. And, if it's not, just say you got in a fight with one of the other students." He paused before he added, "I really want you to come with me, Blair. It would mean a lot." 

"I thought you wanted us to keep a low profile." 

"Yeah, well, to them, you'll be my protegee. Only a few people know we're lovers." 

"People like David?" 

"Yeah, and Daniel King and Jacob Johnson. They're old friends, so it's kind of hard to keep it secret. They want to meet you." 

"Aren't King and Johnson partners? I read their book on the tribes of Kenya." 

"Yeah, but they're more than working partners." 

Blair looked up, surprised. "Really?" 

"You'd be amazed at the number of gays and gay couples in academia. It's more open here than you think. We just try not to flaunt it. Well, except for Sidney, and he can't help himself." 

"Speaking of Sidney, when is he coming home?" 

"That's another surprise. He should be home next Monday." 

"That's great." He grinned at the thought of talking to his friend again. 

"It's good to see you smile. I've missed that." 

Suddenly shy again, Blair shrugged as he went back to frowning. "Not much to smile about lately." 

"I know. Want some more soup?" 

"No, I'm not finished with this. Besides, I'm full." 

"So, do you want to go to the party?" 

"I guess." 

"Good. We can go shopping tomorrow and get you something dazzling to wear. I think you'd look great in some black leather, maybe a vest over a white shirt." He reached into his pocket and then put a small box in front of Blair. "Open it." 

Blair didn't want to touch it, but did. Inside he found a ruby stud earring, the jewel at least a carat and brilliant. "Is this real?" 

"Of course, it's real. I want you to wear it to the party." 

Taking a deep breath, Blair closed the box a lay it back on the table. "Thanks." 

"You don't like it?" 

"Of course, I like it. It's beautiful." 

"Then why do you look like you just got smacked in the head instead of getting a present?" 

"I'm tired, that's all." 

"No, it's not. You're still pissed." 

"Just leave it alone, man." 

"God, you're a bitch, you know that?" 

Blair got up and shook his head. "You're the one being the bitch. You think everything's cool now, but it's not. I'm trying. I really am, but it's not easy." 

Anger drained away, Eli touched his hand. "I'm sorry." 

"You've said that." 

Pulling away, Blair walked out to the deck and sat down. The summer breeze cooled his skin and made his body less strained. Eli came out and settled beside him. "You never make anything easy, Blair." 

"Fuck that." 

"Look, I just want it to be good between us again." 

"I need some time." 

"We've only got what's left of the summer." 

"It doesn't help to know that, to know that no matter what I decide, you'll be going off to Brazil and I get to go back to high school. Somehow, it seems like this should change all that. If you really loved me, you'd find a way to keep me with you." 

"You mean like take you with me on the expedition?" 

"Yeah." 

"Blair, you know that can't happen." 

"Why not?" 

"Too many questions. Here we can be private, but out in the field, well, it'd be obvious. Besides, your mom would never agree to it." 

"She might if I could get my senior credits through correspondence." 

"It wouldn't work for either of us." 

Blair turned and stared at Eli, his heart heavy and breathing an effort. "You don't really want me with you." 

"I do, but that's not the point. I don't take my lovers with me in the field. It just isn't like that." 

"But you could teach me." 

"When you're older, maybe. Not now. It's too dangerous. People find out and I could lose everything." 

"I see." 

"I'm serious. I'd take you if I could. It just wouldn't work, not now." 

Blair took a deep breath, sighing at the reality of it. "Yeah, I know. I just thought, maybe..." 

"I know, but the thing is, we can't waste time being pissed. We need to make the most of what time we have left." 

"I'm not pissed, Eli. I'm just not sure I can trust you. I don't know. Everything seems different now." 

"Then you might as well pack your things and move out, because I don't know what else I can do to convince you." 

"I don't want to leave." 

"I don't want that, either." 

They stayed quiet for several long minutes before Blair finally spoke. "I liked the earring." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah." He stood up and stroked the older man's face gently and then turned to go inside. 

"Blair?" 

"Yeah?" 

"It's going to be okay again, I promise." 

Blair nodded as he headed upstairs, his heart fixed on the promise, but his mind still dark and fearful. 

* * *

Running his fingers along his neck, Blair studied the solid line of bruising, the yellowish tinge all around the edge. It looked like a fucking collar and he wanted to rip it away, to tear it from his own flesh. The flash of anger surprised him as he turned away, his stomach knotted and his fists tight. Why couldn't he remember?" 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." Blair returned to the bed and stretched out, his head still throbbing. 

Eli's hands massaged his shoulders gently, wary of squeezing too hard. "Doesn't look like nothing. You look upset." 

"After that first night, did anything else happen?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, how did I get this bruise around my throat?" 

Eli pulled away and scooted back to sit against the head rest. "You don't remember?" 

"If I remembered, I wouldn't be asking." 

"Does it matter? I mean, it's never going to happen again." 

Blair shuddered at the tone, but forced himself to keep pushing. "Damn right it's not, but I need to know." 

"No, you don't. Let it go." 

"I can't." 

Eli shook his head, his face tight, and his words strained. "I swear to you, I didn't realize how out of it you were, or I would've stopped him." 

"Just tell me." 

"Thomas used a belt." 

"A belt?" 

"Yeah." 

"Fuck." 

"And you were there when he did this?" 

"Yeah." Eli got up from the bed and paced the bedroom while he talked. "After that first time, it was kind of crazy. It was all such a rush, the three of us being like that, you know? Your eyes were open, but you didn't say anything. You stopped resisting as much, so I thought, he's really into it now, so we started to play harder." 

"Play harder?" 

"That's how you got the bruises on your wrists and ankles." 

"Shit." He held up his right hand to see the evidence, but still had no memory of how it got there. "I hate this, man." 

"I do, too." 

"Do you?" 

"Of course. But, why keep going on about it? It's over. Forget about it." 

"You don't get it. I don't remember anything after that first time. It's like this huge blank. I see these bruises and marks and I'm thinking how did this happen? Do you have any idea how scary that is?" 

"No, but I can imagine." 

"No, I don't think you can. It's like I trusted you and you took advantage. Thomas is one thing, but you were there. You let him do that to me after you drugged me." 

"But, I didn't know the tea would be that strong. It doesn't affect me like that." 

"But, you didn't even ask." 

Eli sat down on the edge of the bed, his head down. "No, you're right, I didn't. I was wrong. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me." 

Blair took a deep breath before he answered, his body tense beside his lover's. "I'm not really sure what I'm feeling. I don't hate you, though. I could never do that." 

"Are you going to leave me?" 

"I don't know. I'm a little confused right now." 

"Would you mind if I held you while you thought about it?" 

"I can do holding." 

Arms embraced him, drawing him close as they lay on the bed, huddled together. His mind drifted and swelled with the comforting heat of the other body easing him into sleep, but his emotions quivered, still edgy and uncertain. 

* * *

"I don't know if this is such a good idea, kid. You're still looking pretty ragged." 

"I'm fine. I can't let Sidney come back and find the place in a mess like this." Blair sorted through the stack of mail on his friend's desk, ignoring the concerned look. "Besides, I haven't been to class all week. People are going to wonder. Plus, I've got a paper to finish. It's overdue as it is." 

"I'm sure the professor will give you an extension." 

"No doubt." He sat down and started opening the first letter. 

"What about tomorrow night?" 

"What about it?" 

"We still haven't gotten you something decent to wear yet." 

Blair stopped and looked up, his face drawn. "Why is it so important? I mean, first the ruby earring, and now you're making such a big deal over some outfit. I can just wear jeans. Everybody else does." 

"No, they don't, and even if they did, that's not the point." 

"What is the point?" 

Eli stepped closer to the desk as he spoke, his voice a little softer. "You may not know this, but how you look reflects on me. Sure, you look good no matter what you've got on because you're naturally beautiful, but I want it to be special that night. Indulge me." 

Flushing from the unexpected compliment, Blair leaned back, pretending to think hard. "I don't know, man. A new outfit. I might even need another trip to Andre's, really put on a show." 

Recognizing the tease, Eli played along. "Sure, Andre's. Whatever you want. Just don't make me go inside that place with you. Andre makes me nervous. He's always trying to get me to bleach what little hair I have left." 

"He is kind of pushy. He told me I'd look great with some more auburn highlights, like every other curl." 

"Don't you dare." 

"That's what Sidney said." 

"Smart guy." 

"Yeah, he is." The playful mood sobered. "Okay, Eli, I'll try to finish here by three. We could go and get something then. Just don't take me back to that place where we got the suit for the concert." 

"You didn't like Jacque?" 

"No." 

"Why not? The suit looked great before you puked all over it." 

"Yeah, but he kept touching me when he didn't have to." 

"You're sure? He did have to do measurements." 

Blair met his eyes as he spoke. "Believe me, I know the difference. The guy was copping a feel. I don't want to go back there." 

"Why didn't you tell me then?" 

"Because I didn't want to cause any trouble." 

"Shit. You should've said something." The words came out angry as Eli braced himself forward on the desk. 

"It's over." 

"Like hell it is. I'll take care of it." 

"There's nothing to take care of, man. I just don't want to shop there again. Okay?" 

Standing back up, his face still twisted and frowning, Eli reluctantly agreed. "Okay, but I swear to you, if that happens again while we're out, I want you to say something. Nobody touches you and gets away with it." 

Blair bit back the bitter words rolling out almost too fast to stop. He focused instead on the paperwork, blinking several times to control the stinging. "Why don't you go get ready for class? I'll be there for the lecture, but I'm going to skip the lab. I really want to finish that assignment." 

"Fine. You don't even have to come to the seminar if you don't want. I'll let you read over my notes later." 

"I want to come. I like listening to you talk and interact with the students. It's nothing like high school." 

"No, it's not, and it shouldn't be like that. Good teaching is more than just standing up pontificating. I like doing it most of the time." 

"When don't you like it?" 

"When I've got better things to do." He stepped around the desk and put his hand on Blair's shoulder and then ran it down lazily along his front. "You're definitely in the better category." 

Stiffly, Blair shrugged him off. "I've got a lot of work here." 

Reluctantly pulling away, Eli headed toward the door. "I'll see you in class, then." 

"All right. Close the door on your way out." 

As soon as the door shut, Blair sagged back in his chair, his hand to his head. Routine continued, conversation, work, school, everything as it should be. So, why did he feel like screaming? 

* * *

Eli smoothed down the black leather vest over the white gauze shirt and smiled. "You look like a pirate." 

"You sure it's not more like the cabin boy?" 

"Only if it's my cabin." He handed him a glass and stood beside him sipping his own drink. "Quite a turn out." 

Blair sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "What's in this?" 

"Nothing much. No whiskey." 

"I can see that. But, there's something other than 7Up." 

"Just a little vodka. Don't tell anyone. It'll help you stop looking so scared shitless and uptight." 

"I'm not scared, and I don't want this." He sat down just as one of the other guests got up from the sofa and set his drink down on the side table. "I'd rather just have water or a plain soda." 

"Don't start, kid." 

"I'm not starting anything. Just stop trying to think for me. If I want something to drink, I'll ask for it." 

"God, there's no pleasing you." 

Before he could say anything, their host sat down beside Blair and draped his arm over his shoulder. "You're looking so much better, young man. I see you survived your last visit." 

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry about that other time." He pushed as far back into the corner as he could, but found the arm still there, still hugging him. 

"Don't worry about it. Things like that happen. And, now here you are looking flat out gorgeous, I must say. Tell me, Eli, where did you dig up this child anyway?" He laughed at his own weak joke and Blair hated that his lover chuckled along with him. Wanting to leave and knowing he couldn't, the younger man simply crossed his arms and remained silent. Blair jerked back in surprise as David touched the side of his face and along his neck for a moment and frowned. "Where'd you get these bruises?" 

Glancing at Eli nervously, Blair shrugged, "They're no big deal." 

"No big deal? Right." David glared up at Eli and no longer looked amused. He stood up and adjusted his shirt. "Have a good time at the party, you two." Meeting Stoddard's eyes, his voice lowered. "You're a bigger ass than I thought, Eli. I swear." 

Flushed, the older man snapped, "It's not what you think." 

"Of course, it isn't." 

"It's not." 

"Look, this is a party because you're a great man in the field, but if it were up to me, I'd have you locked up." He turned back to Blair and hissed. "Look at him. This isn't right and you know it." 

Eli didn't say a thing as David walked away, but then motioned for Blair to get up. "Come on. We're leaving." 

"We just got here." 

"I don't give a fuck. Let's go." 

"But, you said..." 

"Did you hear me? Go get in the fucking car. I'll be out in a minute." 

Avoiding the stares, Blair made his way out the door and stood by the Volvo, the door locked. He slipped off the leather vest in the heat and waited. He wanted to punch out the window, but he simply closed his eyes and willed himself to stay calm. Still angry, Eli arrived, unlocked the door, and started the engine. Blair barely sat down and pulled on his seat belt before they hit the road. After several long minutes in silence, he finally asked, "Did I do something wrong?" 

"No, kid. I did." 

"But, that was your party. Won't it look bad, leaving like that?" 

"I don't give a fuck. It was a mistake for us to come here." 

"Why?" 

"It just was." As he drove, he settled down. "Look, it's still early. We could stop and get something to eat. Maybe Leonardi's." 

"No, not Leonardi's. Some place different. Or, we could just go home. I know it's a drag, but I'm still a little tired." 

Eli turned his head, his blue eyes sad. "I know you are. You just did this for me. I know that. David's right. I am an ass." 

"He's got no right to say that." 

"Sure he does." The older man drove with one hand and reached out with the other to lightly touch his damaged mouth. "I put those there." 

"You didn't mean to." 

"No. But, I swear I'm going to make it up to you. Let's go to Sanborn's. We'll have dinner, and listen to some jazz. Then you can go home and sleep all you want. Would you like that?" 

"Sure. That sounds great. I love jazz." 

"I know you do." 

Blair cupped Eli's hand and then kissed it. "Thanks." 

Eli pulled his hand back and focused on the curves and traffic before he spoke again. "Don't worry about the party. The talk will die down quick enough." 

"What talk?" 

"Nothing. Forget it." 

"Are you saying people were talking about us?" 

"A little, yeah. I didn't expect that." 

"But, I thought you said academia was more open and cool and all that." 

Eli shook his head and sighed, "Yeah, I said that, but apparently even that society has limits, and I stepped over the line with you." 

Blair swallowed hard, his heart working faster. "Do you think it'll be a problem? I mean, are they going to make me leave?" 

"No, they don't have the balls for that. I'm anthropologist of the year for christsakes. Still, they'll give me a cold shoulder for a season just to let me know they don't appreciate me having a boy for a companion. Fucking hypocrites." 

"But what if this affects your grant?" 

"It won't." 

"How can you be sure?" 

"Because I know where the bodies are buried." 

"What?" 

"Just don't worry about it. Things will settle down soon enough." 

"You're sure?" 

"Yeah, now let's go have dinner and listen to some music. I feel like blowing off some steam. I go home now, you might not be safe." He flashed a teasing, wicked smile and kept driving. 

Blair shuddered and closed his eyes, not wanting to take the words seriously, but doing it. 

* * *

Rolling over, Blair found himself staring up into Eli's dark blue eyes as he watched him. "What?" 

"You're beautiful when you sleep." 

"Thanks." The hushed compliment peppered his skin with gooseflesh and he pulled the sheet a little higher. 

Eli propped his head on an raised hand and sighed. "I've been thinking about what you said about coming with me to Brazil." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. I'm thinking there might be a way if we can get your mom to sign off on it." 

Blair sat up, his heart racing, the thrill of going to the jungle to learn about the work first hand from a man like Eli Stoddard almost too much to imagine. "Do you mean it?" 

"Well, if you mom agrees, I could take out temporary guardianship papers for when we're out of the country." 

"Guardianship papers? What for?" 

"It'd just be for legal purposes, just in case you got hurt or needed something. You're not old enough to be on your own in most of the places we'll be." 

"But, guardianship? I don't know, wouldn't that be like you're my dad or something?" 

"Well, I'm old enough." 

"Don't talk like that, man." 

Blair started to get up, but Eli gripped his arm. "Look, if you want to go, you're going to have to consider it. Otherwise, there's no way the university will sign off on the liability." 

"My mom's not going to like it." 

"Well, if you really want to be with me, you'll figure out a way to convince her." The older man inched closer and whispered, "And I really want you with me, Blair. The more I think about leaving you behind, the more I know I'm not going to be able to stand it." He kissed his cheek and Blair surrendered to the embrace while Eli eased their hands to his crotch, rubbing his erection through his thin boxers. "Touch me." 

Blair swallowed hard, but didn't say anything, his body shaking as he pulled down the shorts and took the leaking cock, the heat burning his palm. As he held it, Eli groaned, humping his hips, and taking the younger man's hand in his again as he fucked the double fist. "God, you're so good, baby." Eli's eyes squeezed shut as his head fell back, his body pumping harder, forcing Blair's grip before he shuddered. Slumping down, he released him and wiped off his own hand. "That felt great. Fucking Jesus, just fucking great." 

Reaching over to the side table, Blair got a Kleenex to clean himself off, his stomach knotted and tight. "That was quick, man." 

"I know." His labored breathing slowed and Eli rolled back on his side to face Blair. "I've been horny as hell all week, but I've been afraid to touch you." 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to his lover, Blair spoke, his voice near breaking. "I know. I just can't yet, you know?" 

"I know, kid. Don't worry about it." A hand massaged his back a few times and then withdrew as Eli drew up the sheet. "I'm exhausted." 

"Should I go ahead and call my mom about Brazil?" 

"No, don't say anything to anyone about it until I check into a few more things. I need to find out some details. I'll let you know. Now, lie back down and let's get some sleep. Sidney will be here tomorrow. He's going to be wired." 

"How do you know that?" 

"He's always wired after a trip. Wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have shitload of gifts, either. I have no idea how I'm going to pay off my charge card this month." 

Smiling at the picture of Sidney on a whirlwind shopping spree, Blair curled in next to Eli and closed his eyes. Slowly he relaxed, his body drinking in the solace of human contact. Visions of his future with his lover soon took over and he imagined himself rowing down the Amazon a brave hero, fighting off crocodiles and meeting an honest to God tribal warrior, a sentinel of his dreams. 

* * *

Blair woke to the smell of a garden, the images of childhood walks amid sunny flower beds strong in his mind. He opened his eyes and squinted, the night stand light glaring his vision. Nearby, a vase of red roses decorated the bureau. Smiling, he thought no one ever gave him flowers before and it felt cool. 

"Hey, sleepyhead, time to get up. You need a shower before we go to the university." 

"Thanks, man." 

"For what?" 

"The flowers." 

"Oh, those." Eli grinned and pulled a stem from the vase and sat down on the edge of the bed, running his free hand up along Blair's chest. He sniffed at the bloom as he spoke. "Those aren't from me." 

"They're not?" 

"No." 

"I don't get it." 

"They're a peace offering from Thomas." 

Blair sat up and pulled away, leaning back against the headboard, his arms crossed around his chest. "I don't want them." 

"Look, he got in last night and called.""I didn't hear the phone." 

"Well, it rang and he wants to make up for what happened. I mean, we've talked and we both know we made a big mistake. He just wants to be friends." 

"I don't give a shit what he wants." 

"Look, Blair, it's all right to be upset. You've got every right." 

"Thanks for the fucking permission." 

Eli frowned and threw the flower on the bedside table, his face angry. "Stop being so fucking melodramatic for christsakes." 

His body trembled as Blair moved to get out of bed only to be stopped by Eli's grip on his arm. "Let go, man." 

"I want you to listen, not run away." 

"There's nothing you can say to make me want to be friends with that man." 

"Why? Jealous?" 

"What?" 

"You heard me." 

Blair stopped resisting and settled back on the bed. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Yes, you do. You're more pissed that Thomas and I were lovers than about what happened." 

"That's not true." 

"Yes, it is. I can't help that. I love Thomas, Blair. I have for years. It's just that sexually, I need more." 

"So, I'm the more?" 

"Much more. I love you, too." 

"I don't understand that. How can you love both of us?" 

"I just do. And, I know it's hard for you to understand, but I need you to try. If you really love me, you'll at least do that." 

A whole flood of words swirled in his head mixed in with the fear and anger. He didn't want to lose Eli, but he hated Thomas, hated his ugly words and his rough touches. "I want to try, man, I do. It's just that Thomas scares me. He's not like you." 

"How?" 

"He hurts me and enjoys it. At least you apologize when you get carried away. He gets off on it." 

Eli reached out slowly, his touch soft. "He doesn't mean to, Blair. He's really not a bad person. It's killing me that you can't see that. I hate that we can't at least be friends." 

"But, he wants more than to just be friends. I can't do that." 

"What if we just tried to get along? We could just have dinner together. I swear he wouldn't touch you." 

"I don't trust him." 

"Do you trust me?" 

"I'm trying to." 

"Then try harder. Let me invite him over. Try to make it up between you." His voice lowered to hush as he stroked Blair's face. "I want the men I love to at least not hate each other." 

"Please, Eli. Don't make me do this." 

"Would you at least think about it?" 

"Yeah, I guess so." 

"That's all I ask." He leaned in for a quick kiss and then pulled back. "Now, go get a quick shower and get dressed. We need to go see Sidney." 

Blair glanced at the clock and noted the late time. "Shit. Why did you let me oversleep?" 

"You needed it." 

"I know, but he's going to be pissed." 

Eli laughed. "Who? Sidney? Don't worry. He thinks the sun shines out your ass. Just blame it on me." 

"Cool. I can do that." 

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that." 

* * *

"Oh, my god, what the fuck happened?" Sidney's welcoming smile faded, replaced with shock. 

Blair stood in the doorway and looked behind himself, baffled and confused by the question. "What?" 

"Those bruises, that's what." 

Touching the side of his face, Blair avoided looking up. "It's nothing." 

"Shit. I'm going to kill the cocksucker. Where the fuck is he?" Moving closer, Sidney traced his fingers along the edges of the wounds, his face twisted in painful sympathy. "Shit. I should never have left you." 

"It's okay, Sidney. Honest. I'm fine." Arms embraced him in a full body crush as the older man petted his head. 

"Seriously?" 

"Seriously. I mean, it hurt at first, but I'm okay now." 

"Shit." Sidney let him go, holding him back, studying him as he shook his head. "That sorry son of a bitch." 

"Who are you calling a son of a bitch, Gold?" 

"You, you sick fuck. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Blair moved inside the room out of the way as the two men came closer, Sidney's face dark with anger. "Is this why you sent me away? So you could do this when I wasn't here to help him?" 

Eli's face remained passive, his voice too calm as he matched his unblinking gaze with Sidney's. "What happens between us is none of your business." 

"It is when he gets hurt." 

"No, it's not. And, like he said, he's fine. I was wrong and admitted that. It won't happen again." 

The sudden claim to blame surprised and deflated the anger but not the pain straining the words. "Eli, you know better than this." 

"I know." 

"Was it Thomas?" 

"Don't bring him into this." 

"Answer me." 

The long paused drew out the words, Blair's breathing unsettled by the whole scene as he watched the friends fight. 

"This was my fault, too, Sidney. Not just Thomas. I'll see to it that it won't happen again." 

"Damn right you will." Sidney took a deep breath and then sighed before he nodded. He turned his attention back to Blair, the long slender fingers of both his hands taking the boy's face. "Promise me you're not bullshitting here. Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, Sidney, I am. Thanks." 

"Okay." He turned back to Eli and waved a hand of dismissal. "Go away. I need to talk to him. Alone." 

"Sidney. Come on. Give me a break here. This is my office for godsakes." 

"I'm still too upset to talk to you right now. Go away." 

Eli shrugged in surrender and spoke to Blair. "He's a stubborn bitch when he wants to be. I'll stop by later. We'll talk about supper then." 

"Sure, man." 

As soon as he left, Sidney guided Blair to a chair and sat him down. "I want you to tell me what happened." 

Holding his hands in his lap, Blair shook his head. "I can't, Sidney. Eli's right. This is between us." 

"But, he hurt you." 

"Yeah, well, that's over. He's sorry and trying to make up for it." 

Sidney sat down beside him on another chair, his breathing still too fast from the earlier tension. "Blair, I want you to listen to me now. This is very important." 

"What?" 

"If he or Thomas did anything you didn't want to happen, you need to get your things and leave. Don't wait for it to happen again. You can stay with me if you need to." 

"I can't do that. I love him." 

"You don't understand. Eli says he's sorry, and I know he means it when he says it, but that's not going to stop him if he decides to do it again. It's happened before." He sat up straighter before he spoke, his voice tense. "Maybe the best thing you could do is call your mom and just go home the rest of the summer." 

"But what about the course?" 

"Forget the course." 

"But, I can't forget Eli. Besides, if everything works out, he's going to take me with him to Brazil." 

Sidney shook his head, his eyes sad. "He told you that?" 

"Yeah, he thinks there's a way. He just has to work out the details." 

"Blair, hon, I hope that's not a line." 

"It's not. He doesn't want me to leave." 

Sidney stood up, his expression still tight, but with a forced smile. "I'm hoping for the best, hon. Okay, if you're not going to listen to reason, I've got a surprise for you." 

"Yeah? What?" 

Blair watched as Sidney took a package from the desk and handed it to him. "I found this after I sent the other book. Open it. I think you'll like it." 

Inside the brown wrapping paper Blair found a book, leather bound with fine tooling. "Oh, my god, it's a first edition of Burton's work." 

"Yes. And look at this." He carefully opened the page to the picture of the tribal watchman. "Isn't he gorgeous?" 

"He's more than that. He's a sentinel." His body tingled as he ran his hand over the picture, the slightest rustle of the protective tissue brushing the air past his racing heart. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

"How could you afford it?" 

"It wasn't that expensive." 

The playful tone brought Blair's head up to see Sidney's bright smile. "What?" 

"I met the most wonderful man. His name is Paco Rodriquiz and he runs a antiquarian book shop in Mexico City. He gave me a great deal." 

"I'll bet he did." 

The laughter brightened the room. "And, he wants me to come live with him." 

The happiness faded as Blair asked, "But what about Eli? He needs you." 

Sidney shook his head as he sat on the edge of the desk. "You wrote that last grant and finished the funding." 

"So?" 

"So, he doesn't need me. And, frankly, he should learn how to write his own fucking grants." 

Blair closed his book and held it to his chest, stroking the outside cover to calm his nerves. "You're still pissed." 

"Yeah, well, I'll finish the summer, but we've been together long enough." 

"He's going to be mad." 

"I'm sorry, hon. I just have to go. It's time for a change and Paco's wonderful." 

"Do you love him?" 

"Yeah. I do. It's been awhile since I could say that. It feels good." 

Swallowing down his own regret, the loss already strong, Blair tried to smile. "I'm happy for you, man." 

"Thanks." Sidney stood up, looked around, and shook his head. "Well, I've got a ton of things to do before I can even think of turning in my resignation. Why don't you go somewhere and read your new book?" 

"Sure." Awkwardly he leaned in for a hug, resting his head on Sidney's shoulder, the tears stinging. "I'm going to hate to see you go." 

"It's okay, hon. I'm still here for a few weeks. If you need me, call. You can come stay with me any time you need to, understand?" 

"I understand." 

"Good." He patted Blair's back and then stepped away a bit. "Now, run along and let Uncle Sidney put this place together again." 

As he stood in the doorway watching his friend sort through the piles of work, he clutched the book to his chest, hoping the shiver of dread ended soon. 

* * *

Sitting in the car next to Sidney, Blair stared at the empty house. "You're sure?" 

"Yeah, hon, I am. He left for Brazil a few hours ago." 

Reality shifted to a gray area, foggy, nothing quite clear. "I don't understand. Why didn't he tell me?" 

"Because he's a fucking coward. I'm sorry, Blair. I know you love him. So do I in a perverse sort of way. I guess after 20 years, it's hard to give up on some people even when they are complete assholes." 

"But what am I supposed to do?" The words trembled almost as much as he did. He held the note in his hand, the words blurring. 

"You can stay with me. I don't mind." 

"But all my stuff's gone. He sent it to Thomas, like I'm some kind of fucking package or something." 

"I know." 

"Why the fuck would he do that?" 

"At least you still have your backpack." 

Blair held the bag and his books closer and nodded. "Yeah, but he knows I can't go to Thomas." 

A hand touched his shoulder, the words soft and consoling. "Let me call your mom, Blair. You need to go home." 

"I can't afford it. She's in San Fransico right now." He closed his eyes, his world spinning and wild, his muscles clamping on his bones, his heart raw. 

"Sell the ruby earring he gave you. Or I can give you the money. Just go home and forget about Eli." 

Blair fingered the gem as a tear fell. "How can I forget the only man I've ever loved?" 

"You don't, but you go on living until you meet someone you'll spend your life with, someone who'll love you, too." 

"Oh, god. I don't know if I can do this." 

Arms pulled him close, his face caressed and stroked while he wept. He wanted Eli to come back, to laugh and call it all a joke, to smile that savior's smile before he kissed him. But, he knew better, knew that for as long as he lived, even if he did find another love, this moment of betrayal and rejection would scar him forever. 

**************The End 

* * *

End Mentor 2 by Grey: Grey853@aol.com

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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